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I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-07-22T17:07:46Z

Nathan:

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref><s>Well, probably three volumes.</s> At this point, who knows?</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 4 - alt.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 4 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 5 - alt.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 5 cover image (tentative)''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and her fiancé, Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros, and the plucky crew of the Imperial Space Yacht ''Aurora,'' with the assistance of the Goddess Eireala, have traveled tens of millions of light-years from the Milky Way Galaxy to mend a rift in space.

Once that's fixed, they'll head home – and Alice and Daniel will finally be wed!

But nothing ever goes according to plan . . . not even an Imperial wedding.

You're all invited to the nuptials, regardless . . .

=== Volume 5 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice has lately discovered herself to be with child.

This doesn't stop her usual grind of duties, of which she has also discovered quite the backlog since returning from her honeymoon with Prince Daniel. With the help of both Daniel and her private secretary Lady Candace, and of course that of her loyal maids, the Princess Regnant powers through audiences and public appearances and even the unending round of lavish soirées thrown by the rich and noble of Capital.

As always, though, her life is bound to have problems tossed into it...much like grenades. An ancient frigate appears in Capital space, from a sector a hundred thousand light years away, normally a 12-year one way trip. Of course they bring news of a problem. But their means of arrival may also spark the biggest war seen in the Galaxy since the Wars of the Dispersal...

----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe<ref>Yeah fine whatever, it is.</ref>, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

Candace Carroll, AKA Lady Candace. A member of one of the First Families of Xeros, she is the daughter of the Marquess Carroll (a trusted advisor of the King of Xeros), and a childhood friend of Prince Daniel's. Has had a hidden crush bordering on obsession for Daniel for years, which leads to a confrontation with Alice. Daniel's sister Alouette is able to give her peace and break the obsession with a magical Blessing. Candace is then invited to assist with the engagement plans, and eventually becomes Princess Alice's best friend and private secretary.

'''''From Volume 3:'''''

Prince Theobald von Kannon, Duke of Terracehill: Alice's great-uncle, Roger's uncle, fifth child of Roger's grandfather. He is currently Commodore of Imperial Fleet Guard Task Force 3, in orbit around Valkyris, a gas giant in the Capital system. He is also the leader of the Assembly, but there are complications which he explains in an inquiry . . .

Michelle de Berger: The current ''mère'' ''supérieure la plus honorée'' ''du Grand Couvent de l'Ordre'' (Most Honored Mother Superior of the Grand Convent of the Order). Boss lady of the Order throughout the Galaxy, but not the boss of Princess Alice.

Beam: The primary avatar of the Great Simulation on what the Goddess Eireala calls "Takamagahara", and to which he refers simply as "Homeworld".

'''''From Volume 4:'''''

Leosbis: A postgraduate student working in a university lab where the entire True Universe of the A'akapiei'ians is itself simulated.

Zihel: Another postgraduate student, "colleague" of Leosbis. They quite frankly despise each other and will probably end up either killing each other or married to each other.

Reilu: The senior professor who runs the lab and is running the simulation, the point of which is to determine what meeting other races of sentients might be like.

Yamaguchi Yukiko: Another refugee from Old Terra, who, like Michael, spends time in stasis to fight off boredom, but unlike Michael, stays in stasis for huge chunks of time just to find out what happens in the future. Engineer, builder of control systems for fusion burners and singularity warp drives. She has an impressive back-story, but that's another book. [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|(Yeah, her.)]]

Sir Walter Atkinson, KCSE: The Empire's Resident General for the Sandrovax System.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 5 - alt.jpg

2026-07-22T17:04:03Z

Nathan:

File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 4 - alt.jpg

2026-07-22T17:03:39Z

Nathan:

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-07-22T16:57:32Z

Nathan: /* Volume 5 */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref><s>Well, probably three volumes.</s> At this point, who knows?</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and her fiancé, Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros, and the plucky crew of the Imperial Space Yacht ''Aurora,'' with the assistance of the Goddess Eireala, have traveled tens of millions of light-years from the Milky Way Galaxy to mend a rift in space.

Once that's fixed, they'll head home – and Alice and Daniel will finally be wed!

But nothing ever goes according to plan . . . not even an Imperial wedding.

You're all invited to the nuptials, regardless . . .

=== Volume 5 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice has lately discovered herself to be with child.

This doesn't stop her usual grind of duties, of which she has also discovered quite the backlog since returning from her honeymoon with Prince Daniel. With the help of both Daniel and her private secretary Lady Candace, and of course that of her loyal maids, the Princess Regnant powers through audiences and public appearances and even the unending round of lavish soirées thrown by the rich and noble of Capital.

As always, though, her life is bound to have problems tossed into it...much like grenades. An ancient frigate appears in Capital space, from a sector a hundred thousand light years away, normally a 12-year one way trip. Of course they bring news of a problem. But their means of arrival may also spark the biggest war seen in the Galaxy since the Wars of the Dispersal...

----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe<ref>Yeah fine whatever, it is.</ref>, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

Candace Carroll, AKA Lady Candace. A member of one of the First Families of Xeros, she is the daughter of the Marquess Carroll (a trusted advisor of the King of Xeros), and a childhood friend of Prince Daniel's. Has had a hidden crush bordering on obsession for Daniel for years, which leads to a confrontation with Alice. Daniel's sister Alouette is able to give her peace and break the obsession with a magical Blessing. Candace is then invited to assist with the engagement plans, and eventually becomes Princess Alice's best friend and private secretary.

'''''From Volume 3:'''''

Prince Theobald von Kannon, Duke of Terracehill: Alice's great-uncle, Roger's uncle, fifth child of Roger's grandfather. He is currently Commodore of Imperial Fleet Guard Task Force 3, in orbit around Valkyris, a gas giant in the Capital system. He is also the leader of the Assembly, but there are complications which he explains in an inquiry . . .

Michelle de Berger: The current ''mère'' ''supérieure la plus honorée'' ''du Grand Couvent de l'Ordre'' (Most Honored Mother Superior of the Grand Convent of the Order). Boss lady of the Order throughout the Galaxy, but not the boss of Princess Alice.

Beam: The primary avatar of the Great Simulation on what the Goddess Eireala calls "Takamagahara", and to which he refers simply as "Homeworld".

'''''From Volume 4:'''''

Leosbis: A postgraduate student working in a university lab where the entire True Universe of the A'akapiei'ians is itself simulated.

Zihel: Another postgraduate student, "colleague" of Leosbis. They quite frankly despise each other and will probably end up either killing each other or married to each other.

Reilu: The senior professor who runs the lab and is running the simulation, the point of which is to determine what meeting other races of sentients might be like.

Yamaguchi Yukiko: Another refugee from Old Terra, who, like Michael, spends time in stasis to fight off boredom, but unlike Michael, stays in stasis for huge chunks of time just to find out what happens in the future. Engineer, builder of control systems for fusion burners and singularity warp drives. She has an impressive back-story, but that's another book. [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|(Yeah, her.)]]

Sir Walter Atkinson, KCSE: The Empire's Resident General for the Sandrovax System.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-07-18T21:21:36Z

Nathan: /* Volume 5 */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref><s>Well, probably three volumes.</s> At this point, who knows?</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and her fiancé, Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros, and the plucky crew of the Imperial Space Yacht ''Aurora,'' with the assistance of the Goddess Eireala, have traveled tens of millions of light-years from the Milky Way Galaxy to mend a rift in space.

Once that's fixed, they'll head home – and Alice and Daniel will finally be wed!

But nothing ever goes according to plan . . . not even an Imperial wedding.

You're all invited to the nuptials, regardless . . .

=== Volume 5 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice has lately discovered herself to be with child.

This doesn't stop her usual grind of duties, of which she has also discovered quite the backlog since returning from her honeymoon with Prince Daniel. With the help of both Daniel and her private secretary Lady Candace, and of course that of her loyal maids, the Princess Regnant powers through audiences and public appearances and even the unending round of lavish soirées thrown by the rich and noble of Capital.

As always, though, her life is bound to have problems tossed into it...much like grenades. An ancient frigate appears in Capital space, from a sector a hundred thousand light years away, normally a 12-year one way trip. Of course they bring news of a problem. But their arrival may also spark the biggest war seen in the Galaxy since the Wars of the Dispersal...

----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe<ref>Yeah fine whatever, it is.</ref>, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

Candace Carroll, AKA Lady Candace. A member of one of the First Families of Xeros, she is the daughter of the Marquess Carroll (a trusted advisor of the King of Xeros), and a childhood friend of Prince Daniel's. Has had a hidden crush bordering on obsession for Daniel for years, which leads to a confrontation with Alice. Daniel's sister Alouette is able to give her peace and break the obsession with a magical Blessing. Candace is then invited to assist with the engagement plans, and eventually becomes Princess Alice's best friend and private secretary.

'''''From Volume 3:'''''

Prince Theobald von Kannon, Duke of Terracehill: Alice's great-uncle, Roger's uncle, fifth child of Roger's grandfather. He is currently Commodore of Imperial Fleet Guard Task Force 3, in orbit around Valkyris, a gas giant in the Capital system. He is also the leader of the Assembly, but there are complications which he explains in an inquiry . . .

Michelle de Berger: The current ''mère'' ''supérieure la plus honorée'' ''du Grand Couvent de l'Ordre'' (Most Honored Mother Superior of the Grand Convent of the Order). Boss lady of the Order throughout the Galaxy, but not the boss of Princess Alice.

Beam: The primary avatar of the Great Simulation on what the Goddess Eireala calls "Takamagahara", and to which he refers simply as "Homeworld".

'''''From Volume 4:'''''

Leosbis: A postgraduate student working in a university lab where the entire True Universe of the A'akapiei'ians is itself simulated.

Zihel: Another postgraduate student, "colleague" of Leosbis. They quite frankly despise each other and will probably end up either killing each other or married to each other.

Reilu: The senior professor who runs the lab and is running the simulation, the point of which is to determine what meeting other races of sentients might be like.

Yamaguchi Yukiko: Another refugee from Old Terra, who, like Michael, spends time in stasis to fight off boredom, but unlike Michael, stays in stasis for huge chunks of time just to find out what happens in the future. Engineer, builder of control systems for fusion burners and singularity warp drives. She has an impressive back-story, but that's another book. [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|(Yeah, her.)]]

Sir Walter Atkinson, KCSE: The Empire's Resident General for the Sandrovax System.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

Yamato (Planet)

2026-06-26T16:59:12Z

Nathan:

Yamato is a planet in the star system named Wa. It is said to be where most traditional Japanese migrated either before or after the Wars of the Dispersal.<blockquote>"Where are you from?"

"The star is named Wa, and the planet is named Yamato. They are ancient names for my homeland. And most of the outmigrant Japanese from Earth live on Yamato, or in the star systems immediately around it. We like our privacy."

"And where is Yamato?"

"You can find it in your gazetteer, I'm sure." She didn't sound convincing.

-- ''I'm The BBESP'' Volume 4, Chapter 7</blockquote>While it is implied to be near enough to Beowulf (a ten-year trip from Capital) for [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|Yamaguchi Yukiko]] to travel there from Yamato for technical conferences and to purchase materials not available on Yamato, "near" is relative for her; Yamato is about six years' travel time equidistant from both Capital and Beowulf (about 52,000 light years from both).

Yukiko's implication about finding it in a gazetteer notwithstanding, the planet and star are, in fact, actually known by completely different names in official Imperial records. Those same official Imperial records suggest that the star is highly-variable, and that the planets (including Yamato by its official name) are uninhabitable, and that there is nothing of value worth exploiting there...and the system is far enough off in the hinterlands of a Sector well above the galactic equator that nobody cares enough to go take a second look.

Yamato is a peaceful society operating by the principles of Shintō and subscribing to the principles of leaving people ruthlessly alone. (Buddhism did not make the trip with the original colonists.) It has the requisite eight million ''kami'', and is ruled by a hereditary Viceroy (who is himself a descendant of Amaterasu) of the Emperor of Japan. An Imperial visitor in Empress Alice's time -- of whom there are very, very few -- would find himself immersed in what appears on the surface to be 17th/18th Century Edo Period Japan, but is actually quite modern and up-to-date under the ''kimono'' by 200th Century standards.

Yamato is quietly aligned with [[Mahoukai]].
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Planets]]

Yamato (Planet)

2026-06-26T16:58:44Z

Nathan:

Yamato is a planet in the star system named Wa. It is said to be where most traditional Japanese migrated either before or after the Wars of the Dispersal.<blockquote>"Where are you from?"

"The star is named Wa, and the planet is named Yamato. They are ancient names for my homeland. And most of the outmigrant Japanese from Earth live on Yamato, or in the star systems immediately around it. We like our privacy."

"And where is Yamato?"

"You can find it in your gazetteer, I'm sure." She didn't sound convincing.

-- ''I'm The BBESP'' Volume 4, Chapter 7</blockquote>While it is implied to be near enough to Beowulf (a ten-year trip from Capital) for [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|Yamaguchi Yukiko]] to travel there from Yamato for technical conferences and to purchase materials not available on Yamato, "near" is relative for her; Yamato is about six years' travel time equidistant from both Capital and Beowulf (about 52,000 light years from both).

Yukiko's implication about finding it in a gazetteer notwithstanding, the planet and star are, in fact, actually known by completely different names in official Imperial records. Those same official Imperial records suggest that the star is highly-variable, and that the planets (including Yamato by its official name) are uninhabitable, and that there is nothing of value worth exploiting there...and the system is far enough off in the hinterlands of a Sector well above the galactic equator that nobody cares enough to go take a second look.

Yamato is a peaceful society operating by the principles of Shintō and subscribing to the principles of leaving people ruthlessly alone. (Buddhism did not make the trip with the original colonists.) It has the requisite eight million ''kami'', and is ruled by a hereditary Viceroy (who is himself a descendant of Amaterasu) of the Emperor of Japan. An Imperial visitor in Empress Alice's time -- of whom there are very, very few -- would find himself immersed in what appears on the surface to be 17th/18th Century Edo Period Japan, but is actually quite modern and up-to-date under th ''kimono'' by 200th Century standards.

Yamato is quietly aligned with [[Mahoukai]].
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Planets]]

Yamato (Planet)

2026-06-26T16:54:07Z

Nathan:

Yamato is a planet in the star system named Wa. It is said to be where most traditional Japanese migrated either before or after the Wars of the Dispersal.<blockquote>"Where are you from?"

"The star is named Wa, and the planet is named Yamato. They are ancient names for my homeland. And most of the outmigrant Japanese from Earth live on Yamato, or in the star systems immediately around it. We like our privacy."

"And where is Yamato?"

"You can find it in your gazetteer, I'm sure." She didn't sound convincing.

-- ''I'm The BBESP'' Volume 4, Chapter 7</blockquote>While it is implied to be near enough to Beowulf (a ten-year trip from Capital) for [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|Yamaguchi Yukiko]] to travel there from Yamato for technical conferences and to purchase materials not available on Yamato, "near" is relative for her; Yamato is about six years' travel time equidistant from both Capital and Beowulf (about 52,000 light years from both).

Yukiko's implication about finding it in a gazetteer notwithstanding, the planet and star are, in fact, actually known by completely different names in official Imperial records. Those same official Imperial records suggest that the star is highly-variable, and that the planets (including Yamato by its official name) are uninhabitable, and that there is nothing of value worth exploiting there...and the system is far enough off in the hinterlands of a Sector well above the galactic equator that nobody cares enough to go take a second look.

Yamato is a peaceful society operating by the principles of Shintō and subscribing to the principles of leaving people ruthlessly alone. (Buddhism did not make the trip with the original colonists.) It has the requisite eight million ''kami'', and is ruled by a hereditary Viceroy (who is himself a descendant of Amaterasu) of the Emperor of Japan. An Imperial visitor in Empress Alice's time -- of whom there are very, very few -- would find himself immersed in what appears on the surface to be 17th/18th Century Edo Period Japan, but is actually quite modern and up-to-date under th ''kimono'' by 200th Century standards. under the ''kimono.''

Yamato is quietly aligned with [[Mahoukai]].
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Planets]]

Yamato (Planet)

2026-06-26T16:42:34Z

Nathan:

Yamato is a planet in the star system named Wa. It is said to be where most traditional Japanese migrated either before or after the Wars of the Dispersal.<blockquote>"Where are you from?"

"The star is named Wa, and the planet is named Yamato. They are ancient names for my homeland. And most of the outmigrant Japanese from Earth live on Yamato, or in the star systems immediately around it. We like our privacy."

"And where is Yamato?"

"You can find it in your gazetteer, I'm sure." She didn't sound convincing.

-- ''I'm The BBESP'' Volume 4, Chapter 7</blockquote>While it is implied to be near enough to Beowulf (a ten-year trip from Capital) for [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|Yamaguchi Yukiko]] to travel there from Yamato for technical conferences and to purchase materials not available on Yamato, "near" is relative for her; Yamato is about six years' travel time equidistant from both Capital and Beowulf (about 52,000 light years from both).

Yukiko's implication about finding it in a gazetteer notwithstanding, the planet and star are, in fact, actually known by completely different names in official Imperial records. Those same official Imperial records suggest that the star is highly-variable, and that the planets (including Yamato by its official name) is uninhabitable...and the system is far enough off in the hinterlands of a Sector well above the galactic equator that nobody cares much about it.

Yamato is a peaceful society operating by the principles of Shintō and subscribing to the principles of leaving people ruthlessly alone. (Buddhism did not make the trip with the original colonists.) It has the requisite eight million ''kami'', and is ruled by a hereditary Viceroy (who is himself a descendant of Amaterasu) of the Emperor of Japan. A visitor -- of whom there are very, very few -- would find himself immersed in what appears on the surface to be 17th/18th Century Japan, but is actually quite modern and up-to-date by 200th Century standards underneath.

Yamato is quietly aligned with [[Mahoukai]].
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Planets]]

Yamato (Planet)

2026-06-26T16:27:47Z

Nathan: Created page with "Yamato is a planet in the star system named Wa. It is said to be where most traditional Japanese migrated either before or after the Wars of the Dispersal.<blockquote>"Where are you from?" "The star is named Wa, and the planet is named Yamato. They are ancient names for my homeland. And most of the outmigrant Japanese from Earth live on Yamato, or in the star systems immediately around it. We like our privacy." "And where is Yamato?" "You can find it in your gazet..."

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-06-26T15:36:55Z

Nathan: /* Dramatis Personae */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref><s>Well, probably three volumes.</s> At this point, who knows?</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and her fiancé, Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros, and the plucky crew of the Imperial Space Yacht ''Aurora,'' with the assistance of the Goddess Eireala, have traveled tens of millions of light-years from the Milky Way Galaxy to mend a rift in space.

Once that's fixed, they'll head home – and Alice and Daniel will finally be wed!

But nothing ever goes according to plan . . . not even an Imperial wedding.

You're all invited to the nuptials, regardless . . .

=== Volume 5 ===
(in progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe<ref>Yeah fine whatever, it is.</ref>, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

Candace Carroll, AKA Lady Candace. A member of one of the First Families of Xeros, she is the daughter of the Marquess Carroll (a trusted advisor of the King of Xeros), and a childhood friend of Prince Daniel's. Has had a hidden crush bordering on obsession for Daniel for years, which leads to a confrontation with Alice. Daniel's sister Alouette is able to give her peace and break the obsession with a magical Blessing. Candace is then invited to assist with the engagement plans, and eventually becomes Princess Alice's best friend and private secretary.

'''''From Volume 3:'''''

Prince Theobald von Kannon, Duke of Terracehill: Alice's great-uncle, Roger's uncle, fifth child of Roger's grandfather. He is currently Commodore of Imperial Fleet Guard Task Force 3, in orbit around Valkyris, a gas giant in the Capital system. He is also the leader of the Assembly, but there are complications which he explains in an inquiry . . .

Michelle de Berger: The current ''mère'' ''supérieure la plus honorée'' ''du Grand Couvent de l'Ordre'' (Most Honored Mother Superior of the Grand Convent of the Order). Boss lady of the Order throughout the Galaxy, but not the boss of Princess Alice.

Beam: The primary avatar of the Great Simulation on what the Goddess Eireala calls "Takamagahara", and to which he refers simply as "Homeworld".

'''''From Volume 4:'''''

Leosbis: A postgraduate student working in a university lab where the entire True Universe of the A'akapiei'ians is itself simulated.

Zihel: Another postgraduate student, "colleague" of Leosbis. They quite frankly despise each other and will probably end up either killing each other or married to each other.

Reilu: The senior professor who runs the lab and is running the simulation, the point of which is to determine what meeting other races of sentients might be like.

Yamaguchi Yukiko: Another refugee from Old Terra, who, like Michael, spends time in stasis to fight off boredom, but unlike Michael, stays in stasis for huge chunks of time just to find out what happens in the future. Engineer, builder of control systems for fusion burners and singularity warp drives. She has an impressive back-story, but that's another book. [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|(Yeah, her.)]]

Sir Walter Atkinson, KCSE: The Empire's Resident General for the Sandrovax System.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-06-26T00:46:23Z

Nathan: /* Volume 4 */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref><s>Well, probably three volumes.</s> At this point, who knows?</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and her fiancé, Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros, and the plucky crew of the Imperial Space Yacht ''Aurora,'' with the assistance of the Goddess Eireala, have traveled tens of millions of light-years from the Milky Way Galaxy to mend a rift in space.

Once that's fixed, they'll head home – and Alice and Daniel will finally be wed!

But nothing ever goes according to plan . . . not even an Imperial wedding.

You're all invited to the nuptials, regardless . . .

=== Volume 5 ===
(in progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe<ref>Yeah fine whatever, it is.</ref>, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

Candace Carroll, AKA Lady Candace. A member of one of the First Families of Xeros, she is the daughter of the Marquess Carroll (a trusted advisor of the King of Xeros), and a childhood friend of Prince Daniel's. Has had a hidden crush bordering on obsession for Daniel for years, which leads to a confrontation with Alice. Daniel's sister Alouette is able to give her peace and break the obsession with a magical Blessing. Candace is then invited to assist with the engagement plans, and eventually becomes Princess Alice's best friend and private secretary.

'''''From Volume 3:'''''

Prince Theobald von Kannon, Duke of Terracehill: Alice's great-uncle, Roger's uncle, fifth child of Roger's grandfather. He is currently Commodore of Imperial Fleet Guard Task Force 3, in orbit around Valkyris, a gas giant in the Capital system. He is also the leader of the Assembly, but there are complications which he explains in an inquiry . . .

Michelle de Berger: The current ''mère'' ''supérieure la plus honorée'' ''du Grand Couvent de l'Ordre'' (Most Honored Mother Superior of the Grand Convent of the Order). Boss lady of the Order throughout the Galaxy, but not the boss of Princess Alice.

Beam: The primary avatar of the Great Simulation on what the Goddess Eireala calls "Takamagahara", and to which he refers simply as "Homeworld".

'''''From Volume 4:'''''

Leosbis: A postgraduate student working in a university lab where the entire True Universe of the A'akapiei'ians is itself simulated.

Zihel: Another postgraduate student, "colleague" of Leosbis. They quite frankly despise each other and will probably end up either killing each other or married to each other.

Reilu: The senior professor who runs the lab and is running the simulation, the point of which is to determine what meeting other races of sentients might be like.

Yamaguchi Yukiko: Another refugee from Old Terra, who, like Michael, spends time in stasis to fight off boredom, but unlike Michael, stays in stasis for huge chunks of time just to find out what happens in the future. Engineer, builder of control systems for fusion burners and singularity warp drives. She has an impressive back-story, but that's another book. [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|(Yeah, her.)]]

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

Cendaphus (Planet)

2026-06-17T01:00:46Z

Nathan: Created page with "Cendaphus is the third planet in the Great Simulation visited by Ariela Wolff in her quest to find more Mesh-capable sentients for the upcoming war against the Darkness. It is inhabited by a race humans dub the "Greys", because they look reminiscent of the classical "Greys" beloved by human sci-fi:<blockquote>The beings themselves looked something like the classical human depiction of alien Greys, though their skin was more brown, they had hair, and their eyes were not..."

Cendaphus is the third planet in the Great Simulation visited by Ariela Wolff in her quest to find more Mesh-capable sentients for the upcoming war against the Darkness.

It is inhabited by a race humans dub the "Greys", because they look reminiscent of the classical "Greys" beloved by human sci-fi:<blockquote>The beings themselves looked something like the classical human depiction of alien Greys, though their skin was more brown, they had hair, and their eyes were not nearly as pronounced. </blockquote>The planet has several continent-sized landmasses, but two in particular are close together, and during a glacial period about 25Kyr before present, sea levels dropped far enough to create a land bridge between them. This land bridge was quite important for the development of Cendaphus's Greys, because the race had originally evolved with a collective hive mind. However, mutations arose, creating Greys who were non-responsive to the hive mind -- they could still hear it, but they could resist it, to various levels.

The hive would kill any non-hive mutants out of hand, at birth if they could be discovered at that point, but eventually the non-hive got smart enough to evade detection and their community grew large enough to establish itself in the northern, less-hospitable portion of the Eastern Continent. Then, during the ice age, the non-hive community discovered the land bridge, and explored to the other side and beyond. They found a rich land completely uninhabited by other sentients, and migrated, lock stock and barrel, to the central part of the Western Continent, far out of reach of the hive collective.

Once the ice age ended, the oceans rose again and covered the land bridge. The collective on the Eastern Continent stagnated much as it always had, still killing off any non-hive individuals it could detect, and the non-hive race progressed like our Western world. At some point analogous to our Age of Sail, the non-hive race re-established contact with the collective. As had been the case before the migration, some of them were more affected by the hive than others when in close proximity. Getting those people out of the picture and back to where they were safe from control, they negotiated with the hive mind for resources, for which they'd trade finished goods and foods the hive hadn't managed to discover and cultivate. They also negotiated with the hive to take any mutants that might be born back to the West with them, offering a new solution to the old problem with which the collective had never really been comfortable dealing. Over time, other colonies of escaped, non-hive individuals were found, far to the north, and were offered free transit to the other side of the ocean; most if not all of them took the offer.

Fast-forward to the present day. Nothing has really changed to the East. To the West, the society of non-hive Greys has progressed through various ages and has now arrived in an Industrial Age, somewhat analogous to the 1950s on Earth. They are just beginning to implement atomic power, and they have added nuclear power generating facilities to their stock in trade; in the East, the collective is enthusiastic about ridding itself of the older coal and oil plants it had obtained from the West in decades prior.
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Planets]]

Category:Timelines

2026-06-15T18:53:12Z

Nathan:

''Timelines'' is (so far) a series of six mainstream novels, four related novels, and a number of novellae/short stories set in a future world, in which humans are (at first) unknowing simulants inside a Great Simulation created billions of years ago by a lonely elder race.

'''To date, the available novels are:'''

* ''The Lion of God'' (2020)

* ''The Lion and the Lizard'' (2021)
* ''The Lion in Paradise'' (2021)
* ''The Cross-Time Kamaitachi'' (2022, Yukiko Yamaguchi, "Timelines Universe")

* ''The Tale of the Crane Princess'' (2023, Horiuchi Tsurue (Tsuruhime no kami) and Higashikuni Akira, "Timelines Universe")

* ''An American in Iya'' (2024, sequel to ''The Tale of the Crane Princess'', "Timelines Universe")
* ''The Lion and the Darkness'' (2024)

'''Short stories and novellae ("Timelines Universe")'''

* ''The Reason'' (2020)

* ''A Fox in the Henhouse'' (2020)

* ''A Dragon in the Foie Gras'' (2021)
* ''A Huntress on the Rocks'' (2021)
* ''The Dragon and Her Sister'' (2023)
* ''A Cleric in the Kitchen'' (2025)

*''All Precious Stones and Peoples'' (2025)
'''In process:'''

* ''The Lion and the Logic'' (Novel, ''Timelines'' #5)
* ''Shade of the Sakura'' (Novel, "Timelines Universe"; sequel to ''An American in Iya'')
* ''Across the Ocean of Time'' (Novel, "Timelines Universe"; sequel to ''Shade of the Sakura'')

'''Planned:'''

* ''The Lion Triumphant'' (Novel, ''Timelines'' #6, final mainstream story)
'''In Addition:'''

The light novel series ''[https://nathanbrindle.com/wiki/index.php/I%27m_The_Beautiful_But_Evil_Space_Princess_Who_Rules_A_Galactic_Empire,_But_Really_Wants_To_Leave_People_Ruthlessly_Alone! I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!]'' is, I admit, part of the ''Timelines'' Series.

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-06-07T19:13:14Z

Nathan: /* Dramatis Personae */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref><s>Well, probably three volumes.</s> At this point, who knows?</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe<ref>Yeah fine whatever, it is.</ref>, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

Candace Carroll, AKA Lady Candace. A member of one of the First Families of Xeros, she is the daughter of the Marquess Carroll (a trusted advisor of the King of Xeros), and a childhood friend of Prince Daniel's. Has had a hidden crush bordering on obsession for Daniel for years, which leads to a confrontation with Alice. Daniel's sister Alouette is able to give her peace and break the obsession with a magical Blessing. Candace is then invited to assist with the engagement plans, and eventually becomes Princess Alice's best friend and private secretary.

'''''From Volume 3:'''''

Prince Theobald von Kannon, Duke of Terracehill: Alice's great-uncle, Roger's uncle, fifth child of Roger's grandfather. He is currently Commodore of Imperial Fleet Guard Task Force 3, in orbit around Valkyris, a gas giant in the Capital system. He is also the leader of the Assembly, but there are complications which he explains in an inquiry . . .

Michelle de Berger: The current ''mère'' ''supérieure la plus honorée'' ''du Grand Couvent de l'Ordre'' (Most Honored Mother Superior of the Grand Convent of the Order). Boss lady of the Order throughout the Galaxy, but not the boss of Princess Alice.

Beam: The primary avatar of the Great Simulation on what the Goddess Eireala calls "Takamagahara", and to which he refers simply as "Homeworld".

'''''From Volume 4:'''''

Leosbis: A postgraduate student working in a university lab where the entire True Universe of the A'akapiei'ians is itself simulated.

Zihel: Another postgraduate student, "colleague" of Leosbis. They quite frankly despise each other and will probably end up either killing each other or married to each other.

Reilu: The senior professor who runs the lab and is running the simulation, the point of which is to determine what meeting other races of sentients might be like.

Yamaguchi Yukiko: Another refugee from Old Terra, who, like Michael, spends time in stasis to fight off boredom, but unlike Michael, stays in stasis for huge chunks of time just to find out what happens in the future. Engineer, builder of control systems for fusion burners and singularity warp drives. She has an impressive back-story, but that's another book. [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|(Yeah, her.)]]

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-06-01T00:00:27Z

Nathan: /* Dramatis Personae */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref><s>Well, probably three volumes.</s> At this point, who knows?</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe<ref>Yeah fine whatever, it is.</ref>, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

'''''From Volume 4:'''''

Leosbis: A postgraduate student working in a university lab where the entire True Universe of the A'akapiei'ians is itself simulated.

Zihel: Another postgraduate student, "colleague" of Leosbis. They quite frankly despise each other and will probably end up either killing each other or married to each other.

Reilu: The senior professor who runs the lab and is running the simulation, the point of which is to determine what meeting other races of sentients might be like.

Yamaguchi Yukiko: Another refugee from Old Terra, who, like Michael, spends time in stasis to fight off boredom, but unlike Michael, stays in stasis for huge chunks of time just to find out what happens in the future. Engineer, builder of control systems for fusion burners and singularity warp drives. She has an impressive back-story, but that's another book. [[Yukiko Yamaguchi|(Yeah, her.)]]

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

Category:Timelines

2026-05-31T23:17:04Z

Nathan:

''Timelines'' is (so far) a series of six mainstream novels, four related novels, and a number of novellae/short stories set in a future world, in which humans are (at first) unknowing simulants inside a Great Simulation created billions of years ago by a lonely elder race.

'''To date, the available novels are:'''

* ''The Lion of God'' (2020)

* ''The Lion and the Lizard'' (2021)
* ''The Lion in Paradise'' (2021)
* ''The Cross-Time Kamaitachi'' (2022, Yukiko Yamaguchi, "Timelines Universe")

* ''The Tale of the Crane Princess'' (2023, Horiuchi Tsurue (Tsuruhime no kami) and Higashikuni Akira, "Timelines Universe")

* ''An American in Iya'' (2024, sequel to ''The Tale of the Crane Princess'', "Timelines Universe")
* ''The Lion and the Darkness'' (2024)

'''Short stories and novellae ("Timelines Universe")'''

* ''The Reason'' (2020)

* ''A Fox in the Henhouse'' (2020)

* ''A Dragon in the Foie Gras'' (2021)
* ''A Huntress on the Rocks'' (2021)
* ''The Dragon and Her Sister'' (2023)
* ''A Cleric in the Kitchen'' (2025)

*''All Precious Stones and Peoples'' (2025)
'''In process:'''

* ''The Lion and the Logic'' (Novel)
* ''Shade of the Sakura'' (Novel, "Timelines Universe"; sequel to ''An American in Iya'')

'''Planned:'''

* ''The Lion Triumphant'' (Novel, final mainstream story)
'''In Addition:'''

The light novel series ''[https://nathanbrindle.com/wiki/index.php/I%27m_The_Beautiful_But_Evil_Space_Princess_Who_Rules_A_Galactic_Empire,_But_Really_Wants_To_Leave_People_Ruthlessly_Alone! I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!]'' is, I admit, part of the ''Timelines'' Series.

Category:Timelines

2026-05-31T23:14:20Z

Nathan:

''Timelines'' is (so far) a series of six mainstream novels, four related novels, and a number of novellae/short stories set in a future world, in which humans are (at first) unknowing simulants inside a Great Simulation created billions of years ago by a lonely elder race.

'''To date, the available novels are:'''

* ''The Lion of God'' (2020)

* ''The Lion and the Lizard'' (2021)
* ''The Lion in Paradise'' (2021)
* ''The Cross-Time Kamaitachi'' (2022, Yukiko Yamaguchi, "Timelines Universe")

* ''The Tale of the Crane Princess'' (2023, Horiuchi Tsurue (Tsuruhime no kami) and Higashikuni Akira, "Timelines Universe")

* ''An American in Iya'' (2024, sequel to ''The Tale of the Crane Princess'', "Timelines Universe")
* ''The Lion and the Darkness'' (2024)

'''Short stories and novellae ("Timelines Universe")'''

* ''The Reason'' (2020)

* ''A Fox in the Henhouse'' (2020)

* ''A Dragon in the Foie Gras'' (2021)
* ''A Huntress on the Rocks'' (2021)
* ''The Dragon and Her Sister'' (2023)
* ''A Cleric in the Kitchen'' (2025)

*''All Precious Stones and Peoples'' (2025)
'''In process:'''

* ''The Lion and the Logic'' (Novel)
* ''Shade of the Sakura'' (Novel, "Timelines Universe"; sequel to ''An American in Iya'')

'''Planned:'''

* ''The Lion Triumphant'' (Novel, final mainstream story)
'''In Addition:'''

The light novel series ''[[I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!]]'' is, I admit, part of the ''Timelines'' Series.

Theory of Time

2026-05-31T22:54:23Z

Nathan:

I have a theory of time that underlies how timelines work and how history is changed -- or isn't. This is sort of fundamental to ''Timelines'' and I'm kind of surprised I haven't ever written it down before.

==Theory==
#'''You ''cannot'' change fundamental events.''' Big, huge, epochal events. You can't stop 9/11. You can't kill Hitler. You can't prevent the Kennedy assassination. And so forth. What will happen, always, is if you go back with intent to make those changes, you find yourself in a situation where you cannot affect that history, e.g., you show up thousands of miles away, or you show up after the event, or both -- the upshot being, you can never get close enough in time or space to make a difference. However, see exception below, following 2).
#'''You can change ''minor'' events that make no significant difference,''' because either they are low-probability events that split off a short-lived timeline that folds back into the main timeline, or they are high-probability events that spin off a longer-lived timeline that might survive on its own (this is what leads to supra- or sub-lines of a numbered timeline, e.g., Timeline 1287 Left Sub 6).
#'''Exception:''' '''A fundamental event that has 50/50 (or close to 50/50) probability MAY cause a major timeline shift, to the left or right.''' Such "split" events create separate, numbered timelines that then go on to develop their own future history. (Timeline Zero and Timeline 1 Right, for instance.) Such events might include[[File:Baby Hitler meme.jpg|thumb|The meme in question.]]
#*Kennedy either is or is not shot (or survives being shot).
#*Baby Hitler isn't killed but Woodrow Wilson is. (I love that meme.)
#*Hitler is killed and someone much worse takes over, which is the current consensus among a lot of strategists.
#* The 9/11 hijackers are thwarted before they ever get on the planes, or by US Air Force shooting the planes down, or by passengers Flight 73-ing the other three planes, or whatever.
#*Joe Biden gets a second term and it ends in a major regional nuclear war in East Asia. ([[Timeline 240 Left Supra 2]])
#*And there are potentially timelines where Rome doesn't fall in AD 476, there is no Prophet Mohammed and thus no Islam, the Mongols go east instead of west, the Black Plague isn't as bad as it was in Timeline Zero and doesn't kill half the population of Europe, Constantinople doesn't fall in 1453, King Henry VIII has a viable son out of Catherine of Aragorn and doesn't go through a bunch of wives or break from the Catholic Church, Martin Luther for whatever reason never nails his theses to the church door, and so on. Oddly enough -- or perhaps not oddly at all -- Jesus Christ does seem to be born in all of them, at least in the ones in which humans arise.<ref>Yes, the Jewish author is writing a very Christian universe. Sue me.</ref>

== Additional points==
#If a timeline is instantiated in "test mode", or, crudely, "NPC mode" (see ''The Lion of God''), it is created with a complete history going forward and observers can move freely up and down the timeline. However it's important to note that a "test mode" timeline does come to an end at some point, unless external input is provided to create randomness so the line can generate future events. See (yes, sigh) ''The Lion of God.''
#A regularly-instantiated timeline supports time travel only into the immediate past. That is to say, a person in Timeline Zero 2026 cannot travel forward ("uptime") of that date, but only backwards ("downtime").<ref>And yes, in ''The Lion of God,'' I got those reversed. Someday I'll go back and publish a revised version with the corrections.</ref> However, note that someone from the future can come downtime and take people from downtime uptime to their current time hack. See ''BBESP #4'' for a specific example, though I already implied this in ''The Lion of God.'' The reason for this is that you can't determine the correct main line from its beginning because you have no clue as to the probabilities that create the timeline going forward. And indeed, if someone comes downtime to take you uptime, you have no real way to know if they are from the main line or from a sub-line that's split off of it at some point in your future...but the odds are that they're from the main line if they actually made it back to pick you up. See ''BBESP #4''.
# A [[wikipedia:Temporal_paradox#Causal_loop|causal loop]] (a type of temporal paradox) trumps just about everything, since the nature of the loop is such that you're already past the downtime part of it when you realize you're going to start one. See ''The Cross-Time Kamaitachi'', in particular the epilogue.
#Timelines that manifest to the left of Timeline Zero generally are "bad" outcomes; timelines that manifest to the right of Timeline Zero generally are "good" outcomes.<ref>"Right" and "left" in these instances is simply how they're grouped by the early explorers and theorists. There's no particular ideological bent to the concept, unless there is and I'm not telling.</ref> There is otherwise no real rhyme or reason for the placement of a given timeline; they branch and are thus created randomly, so you don't get groups of timelines where there are only superficial differences and it's otherwise difficult to tell the difference between them. (Timelines with superficial differences tend to be clumped as the main line with supra- and sub-lines clustered around them as noted in #2 of the theory section, above.) Also, things don't get better or worse depending on the increasing numbers. One could argue Timeline 1287 Left Sub 6 has a better outcome than Timeline 240 Left Supra 2, for instance.

==Notes==
[[Category:Timelines]]

<references />

Theory of Time

2026-05-31T22:53:24Z

Nathan:

I have a theory of time that underlies how timelines work and how history is changed -- or isn't. This is sort of fundamental to ''Timelines'' and I'm kind of surprised I haven't ever written it down before.

==Theory==
#'''You ''cannot'' change fundamental events.''' Big, huge, epochal events. You can't stop 9/11. You can't kill Hitler. You can't prevent the Kennedy assassination. And so forth. What will happen, always, is if you go back with intent to make those changes, you find yourself in a situation where you cannot affect that history, e.g., you show up thousands of miles away, or you show up after the event, or both -- the upshot being, you can never get close enough in time or space to make a difference. However, see exception below, following 2).
#'''You can change ''minor'' events that make no significant difference,''' because either they are low-probability events that split off a short-lived timeline that folds back into the main timeline, or they are high-probability events that spin off a longer-lived timeline that might survive on its own (this is what leads to supra- or sub-lines of a numbered timeline, e.g., Timeline 1287 Left Sub 6).
#'''Exception:''' '''A fundamental event that has 50/50 (or close to 50/50) probability MAY cause a major timeline shift, to the left or right.''' Such "split" events create separate, numbered timelines that then go on to develop their own future history. (Timeline Zero and Timeline 1 Right, for instance.) Such events might include[[File:Baby Hitler meme.jpg|thumb|The meme in question.]]
#*Kennedy either is or is not shot (or survives being shot).
#*Baby Hitler isn't killed but Baby Woodrow Wilson is. (I love that meme.)
#*Hitler is killed and someone much worse takes over, which is the current consensus among a lot of strategists.
#* The 9/11 hijackers are thwarted before they ever get on the planes, or by US Air Force shooting the planes down, or by passengers Flight 73-ing the other three planes, or whatever.
#*Joe Biden gets a second term and it ends in a major regional nuclear war in East Asia. ([[Timeline 240 Left Supra 2]])
#*And there are potentially timelines where Rome doesn't fall in AD 476, there is no Prophet Mohammed and thus no Islam, the Mongols go east instead of west, the Black Plague isn't as bad as it was in Timeline Zero and doesn't kill half the population of Europe, Constantinople doesn't fall in 1453, King Henry VIII has a viable son out of Catherine of Aragorn and doesn't go through a bunch of wives or break from the Catholic Church, Martin Luther for whatever reason never nails his theses to the church door, and so on. Oddly enough -- or perhaps not oddly at all -- Jesus Christ does seem to be born in all of them, at least in the ones in which humans arise.<ref>Yes, the Jewish author is writing a very Christian universe. Sue me.</ref>

== Additional points==
#If a timeline is instantiated in "test mode", or, crudely, "NPC mode" (see ''The Lion of God''), it is created with a complete history going forward and observers can move freely up and down the timeline. However it's important to note that a "test mode" timeline does come to an end at some point, unless external input is provided to create randomness so the line can generate future events. See (yes, sigh) ''The Lion of God.''
#A regularly-instantiated timeline supports time travel only into the immediate past. That is to say, a person in Timeline Zero 2026 cannot travel forward ("uptime") of that date, but only backwards ("downtime").<ref>And yes, in ''The Lion of God,'' I got those reversed. Someday I'll go back and publish a revised version with the corrections.</ref> However, note that someone from the future can come downtime and take people from downtime uptime to their current time hack. See ''BBESP #4'' for a specific example, though I already implied this in ''The Lion of God.'' The reason for this is that you can't determine the correct main line from its beginning because you have no clue as to the probabilities that create the timeline going forward. And indeed, if someone comes downtime to take you uptime, you have no real way to know if they are from the main line or from a sub-line that's split off of it at some point in your future...but the odds are that they're from the main line if they actually made it back to pick you up. See ''BBESP #4''.
# A [[wikipedia:Temporal_paradox#Causal_loop|causal loop]] (a type of temporal paradox) trumps just about everything, since the nature of the loop is such that you're already past the downtime part of it when you realize you're going to start one. See ''The Cross-Time Kamaitachi'', in particular the epilogue.
#Timelines that manifest to the left of Timeline Zero generally are "bad" outcomes; timelines that manifest to the right of Timeline Zero generally are "good" outcomes.<ref>"Right" and "left" in these instances is simply how they're grouped by the early explorers and theorists. There's no particular ideological bent to the concept, unless there is and I'm not telling.</ref> There is otherwise no real rhyme or reason for the placement of a given timeline; they branch and are thus created randomly, so you don't get groups of timelines where there are only superficial differences and it's otherwise difficult to tell the difference between them. (Timelines with superficial differences tend to be clumped as the main line with supra- and sub-lines clustered around them as noted in #2 of the theory section, above.) Also, things don't get better or worse depending on the increasing numbers. One could argue Timeline 1287 Left Sub 6 has a better outcome than Timeline 240 Left Supra 2, for instance.

==Notes==
[[Category:Timelines]]

<references />

File:Baby Hitler meme.jpg

2026-05-31T22:51:51Z

Nathan:

Baby Hitler

Theory of Time

2026-05-31T22:38:59Z

Nathan:

I have a theory of time that underlies how timelines work and how history is changed -- or isn't. This is sort of fundamental to ''Timelines'' and I'm kind of surprised I haven't ever written it down before.

# '''You ''cannot'' change fundamental events.''' Big, huge, epochal events. You can't stop 9/11. You can't kill Hitler. You can't prevent the Kennedy assassination. And so forth. What will happen, always, is if you go back with intent to make those changes, you find yourself in a situation where you cannot affect that history, e.g., you show up thousands of miles away, or you show up after the event, or both -- the upshot being, you can never get close enough in time or space to make a difference. However, see exception below, following 2).
# '''You can change ''minor'' events that make no significant difference,''' because either they are low-probability events that split off a short-lived timeline that folds back into the main timeline, or they are high-probability events that spin off a longer-lived timeline that might survive on its own (this is what leads to supra- or sub-lines of a numbered timeline, e.g., Timeline 1287 Left Sub 6).
# '''Exception:''' '''A fundamental event that has 50/50 (or close to 50/50) probability MAY cause a major timeline shift, to the left or right.''' Such "split" events create separate, numbered timelines that then go on to develop their own future history. (Timeline Zero and Timeline 1 Right, for instance.) Such events might include
#* Kennedy either is or is not shot (or survives being shot).
#* Baby Hitler isn't killed but Baby Woodrow Wilson is. (I love that meme.)
#* Hitler is killed and someone much worse takes over, which is the current consensus among a lot of strategists.
#* The 9/11 hijackers are thwarted before they ever get on the planes, or by US Air Force shooting the planes down, or by passengers Flight 73-ing the other three planes, or whatever.
#* Joe Biden gets a second term and it ends in a major regional nuclear war in East Asia. ([[Timeline 240 Left Supra 2]])
#* And there are potentially timelines where Rome doesn't fall in AD 476, there is no Prophet Mohammed and thus no Islam, the Mongols go east instead of west, the Black Plague isn't as bad as it was in Timeline Zero and doesn't kill half the population of Europe, Constantinople doesn't fall in 1453, King Henry VIII has a viable son out of Catherine of Aragorn and doesn't go through a bunch of wives or break from the Catholic Church, Martin Luther for whatever reason never nails his theses to the church door, and so on. Oddly enough -- or perhaps not oddly at all -- Jesus Christ does seem to be born in all of them, at least in the ones in which humans arise.<ref>Yes, the Jewish author is writing a very Christian universe. Sue me.</ref>
There are a couple of other things.

# If a timeline is instantiated in "test mode", or, crudely, "NPC mode" (see ''The Lion of God''), it is created with a complete history going forward and observers can move freely up and down the timeline. However it's important to note that a "test mode" timeline does come to an end at some point, unless external input is provided to create randomness so the line can generate future events. See (yes, sigh) ''The Lion of God.''
# A regularly-instantiated timeline supports time travel only into the immediate past. That is to say, a person in Timeline Zero 2026 cannot travel forward ("uptime") of that date, but only backwards ("downtime"). And yes, in ''The Lion of God,'' I got those reversed. Someday I'll go back and publish a revised version with the corrections. However, note that someone from the future can come downtime and take people from downtime uptime to their current time hack. See ''BBESP #4'' for a specific example, though I already implied this in ''The Lion of God.'' The reason for this is that you can't determine the correct main line from its beginning because you have no clue as to the probabilities that create the timeline going forward. And indeed, if someone comes downtime to take you uptime, you have no real way to know if they are from the main line or from a sub-line that's split off of it at some point in your future...but the odds are that they're from the main line if they actually made it back to pick you up. See ''BBESP #4''.
# A [[wikipedia:Temporal_paradox#Causal_loop|causal loop]] (a type of temporal paradox) trumps just about everything, since the nature of the loop is such that you're already past the downtime part of it when you realize you're going to start one. See ''The Cross-Time Kamaitachi'', in particular the epilogue.
# Timelines that manifest to the left of Timeline Zero generally are bad outcomes; timelines that manifest to the right of Timeline Zero generally are good outcomes. There is otherwise no real rhyme or reason for the placement of a given timeline; they branch and are thus created randomly, so you don't get groups of timelines where there are only superficial differences and it's otherwise difficult to tell the difference between them. (Timelines with superficial differences tend to be clumped as the main line with supra- and sub-lines clustered around them as noted in #2 of the theory section, above.) Also, things don't get better or worse depending on the increasing numbers. One could argue Timeline 1287 Left Sub 6 has a better outcome than Timeline 240 Left Supra 2, for instance.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Timelines]]

Theory of Time

2026-05-31T22:15:59Z

Nathan:

I have a theory of time that underlies how timelines work and how history is changed -- or isn't. This is sort of fundamental to ''Timelines'' and I'm kind of surprised I haven't ever written it down before.

# '''You ''cannot'' change fundamental events.''' Big, huge, epochal events. You can't stop 9/11. You can't kill Hitler. You can't prevent the Kennedy assassination. And so forth. What will happen, always, is if you go back with intent to make those changes, you find yourself in a situation where you cannot affect that history, e.g., you show up thousands of miles away, or you show up after the event, or both -- the upshot being, you can never get close enough in time or space to make a difference. However, see exception below, following 2).
# '''You can change ''minor'' events that make no significant difference,''' because either they are low-probability events that split off a short-lived timeline that folds back into the main timeline, or they are high-probability events that spin off a longer-lived timeline that might survive on its own (this is what leads to supra- or sub-lines of a numbered timeline, e.g., Timeline 1287 Left Sub 6).
# '''Exception:''' '''A fundamental event that has 50/50 (or close to 50/50) probability MAY cause a major timeline shift, to the left or right.''' Such "split" events create separate, numbered timelines that then go on to develop their own future history. (Timeline Zero and Timeline 1 Right, for instance.) Such events might include
#* Kennedy either is or is not shot (or survives being shot).
#* Baby Hitler isn't killed but Baby Woodrow Wilson is. (I love that meme.)
#* Hitler is killed and someone much worse takes over, which is the current consensus among a lot of strategists.
#* The 9/11 hijackers are thwarted before they ever get on the planes, or by US Air Force shooting the planes down, or by passengers Flight 73-ing the other three planes, or whatever.
#* Joe Biden gets a second term and it ends in a major regional nuclear war in East Asia. ([[Timeline 240 Left Supra 2]])
There are a couple of other things.

# If a timeline is instantiated in "test mode", or, crudely, "NPC mode" (see ''The Lion of God''), it is created with a complete history going forward and observers can move freely up and down the timeline. However it's important to note that a "test mode" timeline does come to an end at some point, unless external input is provided to create randomness so the line can generate future events. See (yes, sigh) ''The Lion of God.''
# A regularly-instantiated timeline supports time travel only into the immediate past. That is to say, a person in Timeline Zero 2026 cannot travel forward ("uptime") of that date, but only backwards ("downtime"). And yes, in ''The Lion of God,'' I got those reversed. Someday I'll go back and publish a revised version with the corrections. However, note that someone from the future can come downtime and take people from downtime uptime to their current time hack. See ''BBESP #4'' for a specific example, though I already implied this in ''The Lion of God.'' The reason for this is that you can't determine the correct main line from its beginning because you have no clue as to the probabilities that create the timeline going forward. And indeed, if someone comes downtime to take you uptime, you have no real way to know if they are from the main line or from a sub-line that's split off of it at some point in your future...but the odds are that they're from the main line if they actually made it back to pick you up. See ''BBESP #4''.
# A [[wikipedia:Temporal_paradox#Causal_loop|causal loop]] (a type of temporal paradox) trumps just about everything, since the nature of the loop is such that you're already past the downtime part of it when you realize you're going to start one. See ''The Cross-Time Kamaitachi'', in particular the epilogue.
# Timelines that manifest to the left of Timeline Zero generally are bad outcomes; timelines that manifest to the right of Timeline Zero generally are good outcomes. There is otherwise no real rhyme or reason for the placement of a given timeline; they branch and are thus created randomly, so you don't get groups of timelines where there are only superficial differences and it's otherwise difficult to tell the difference between them. (Timelines with superficial differences tend to be clumped as the main line with supra- and sub-lines clustered around them as noted in #2 of the theory section, above.) Also, things don't get better or worse depending on the increasing numbers. One could argue Timeline 1287 Left Sub 6 has a better outcome than Timeline 240 Left Supra 2, for instance.

[[Category:Timelines]]

Theory of Time

2026-05-31T22:00:08Z

Nathan:

Theory of Time

2026-05-31T21:34:36Z

Nathan:

Theory of Time

2026-05-31T21:18:19Z

Nathan: Created page with "I have a theory of time that underlies how timelines work and how history is changed -- or isn't. This is sort of fundamental to ''Timelines'' and I'm kind of surprised I haven't ever written it down before. # '''You ''cannot'' change fundamental events.''' Big, huge, epochal events. You can't stop 9/11. You can't kill Hitler. You can't prevent the Kennedy assassination. And so forth. What will happen, always, is if you go back with intent to make those changes,..."

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-05-04T21:23:24Z

Nathan: /* Dramatis Personae */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref><s>Well, probably three volumes.</s> At this point, who knows?</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe<ref>Yeah fine whatever, it is.</ref>, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

'''''From Volume 4:'''''

Leosbis: A postgraduate student working in a university lab where the entire True Universe of the A'akapiei'ians is itself simulated.

Zihel: Another postgraduate student, "colleague" of Leosbis. They quite frankly despise each other and will probably end up either killing each other or married to each other.

Reilu: The senior professor who runs the lab and is running the simulation, the point of which is to determine what meeting other races of sentients might be like.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

Usaianism

2026-02-17T00:42:02Z

Nathan:

'''Usaianism''' is a political and moral philosophy based on adherence to the values set forth in the United States' Declaration of Independence and its Constitution. It was first promulgated by [https://accordingtohoyt.com Sarah A. Hoyt] in her [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BCD75D65 '''''Darkship Thieves'''''] series. Many characters in my '''''Timelines''''' series and its spinoffs, '''''Timelines Universe''''' and the '''''[[I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!|BBESP]]''''' series (particularly the latter), are Usaians of one stripe or another; the Milky Way Star Empire was, indeed, founded on Usaian principles.

You can read more about Sarah's definition of Usaianism at https://pjmedia.com/sarah-hoyt/2017/07/04/being-a-usaian-n167958 . ''See also'' Grokipedia, at https://grokipedia.com/page/Usaian .

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-02-17T00:36:42Z

Nathan:

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref><s>Well, probably three volumes.</s> At this point, who knows?</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe<ref>Yeah fine whatever, it is.</ref>, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-02-17T00:34:31Z

Nathan:

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a </nowiki>''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-02-17T00:32:40Z

Nathan: /* General Background */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Milky Way Star Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines''<nowiki> universe {{#spoiler:</nowiki>''(yeah fine whatever, it is)''<nowiki>}}, that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a </nowiki>''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-02-17T00:27:02Z

Nathan: /* Volume 3 */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！

(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
Imperial Princess Regnant Alice and Crown Prince Daniel of Xeros are now engaged to be married, by the laws and customs of the Church of the Goddess on Xeros.

But if you've ever had a wedding, or anything like a wedding, you know you have to hope the guests will be well-behaved.

Enter the Goddess herself, and her "plus-one," Michael of Terra, who have a bit of an emergency for which they need our plucky crew.

But don't worry . . . it's only the universe unraveling. It can wait till tomorrow.

=== Volume 4 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-02-17T00:23:48Z

Nathan: /* Maids */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！
(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call [[Usaianism|USAian]] tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

Usaianism

2026-02-17T00:22:47Z

Nathan: Created page with "'''Usaianism''' is a political and moral philosophy based on adherence to the values set forth in the United States' Declaration of Independence and its Constitution. It was first promulgated by [https://accordingtohoyt.com Sarah A. Hoyt] in her [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BCD75D65 '''''Darkship Thieves'''''] series. Many characters in my '''''Timelines''''' series and its spinoffs, '''''Timelines Universe''''' and the '''''I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess..."

File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg

2026-01-14T23:10:03Z

Nathan: Nathan uploaded a new version of File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-01-12T19:29:53Z

Nathan: /* Catgirl Maids */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！
(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call USAian tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they get old enough to be given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-01-12T02:36:42Z

Nathan: /* Catgirl Maids */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！
(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call USAian tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they grow up and are given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

The Catfolk race are called ''Rurracom,'' or ''Rurra'' for short.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-01-12T02:19:24Z

Nathan: /* Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！
(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call USAian tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Catgirl Maids ==
[[File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png|thumb|'''''Pelyoyih the Catgirl, Imperial governess (goes by "Peli" among humans).''''']]
This was a crazy idea I had based on Sarah Hoyt threatening to put catgirl covers on books sent to her for the Sunday promo on her blog if the submitting authors made it too difficult for her to find the Amazon link to the book in their submission. At any rate, presuming an (as yet unknown) race of catfolk who were designed as one of the "violent" races in the Great Simulation, given that their planet is part of the Empire (much like the other alien races Ariela Wolff and Beam brought out of the Simulation to fight the Darkness), of course they travel around the Galaxy and have populations on human planets. And of course sometimes there are tragedies and catfolk parents die and their catfolk children are orphaned. Sometimes they end up in a Convent of the Order and are trained up the same way as any other orphan they take in.

The bottom line is that after Alice starts popping out children, she needs someone to care for them and, later, nanny them. Her own maids are busy taking care of her own daily needs, so she contacts the local Convent on Capital to see if she can find a governess. The Convent responds by sending over a catgirl named Pelyoyih, who was the only surviving member of a family that ran a small tramp freighter concern. (Yes, I'll flesh this out later IF I write more books in this series.) They call her Peli, and she is about 16, and is very good with the young orphan children in the Convent because, among other things, she purrs them to sleep if they are anxious or ill. Alice and Daniel are very impressed with Peli, and they engage her to oversee the Palace nursery and take care of the Imperial children until they grow up and are given their own sets of maids.

This only really works well if Alice pops out a dozen children, like Queen Victoria...so I have to consider this in depth. At any rate, Peli will ''not'' show up in Volume 3.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

File:Pelyoyih the Catgirl.png

2026-01-12T02:17:23Z

Nathan:

Pelyoyih the Catgirl

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2026-01-02T15:58:30Z

Nathan: /* Dramatis Personae */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！
(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne. In Volume 3 we find his full name and peerage are Rupert John Mackie, Baron of Sunvale. Sunvale is a small farming community not far from the capital city of, er, Capital, consisting of about 300,000 hectares of land. (300K hectares is roughly equivalent to three counties in Indiana, for reference.)

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice. In Volume 3 we find his full name is Mark Allan George von Kannon.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call USAian tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2025-12-20T19:42:34Z

Nathan:

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']][[File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 3 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！
(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne.

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call USAian tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

File:BBESP kindle cover - Volume 3 - alt - smaller.jpg

2025-12-20T19:40:28Z

Nathan:

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2025-12-11T17:48:36Z

Nathan: /* Magical Spells */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！
(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

For more information about the magic of Mahoukai, see [[Mahoukai#Magic]] .

=== Volume 3 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne.

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call USAian tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

Mahoukai

2025-12-11T17:45:32Z

Nathan: /* Magic */

Mahoukai is a planet in the Great Simulation, found in time trunk HNK12785-3. It is featured in the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness.'' It has one moon, about the same size as Luna, though this is not mentioned in ''The Lion and the Darkness.''

Mahoukai is mentioned near the end of the first volume of, and also makes an appearance in the second volume of, the [[I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!|BBESP light novel.]]

After Mahoukai is realized, it becomes the only planet of [[wikipedia:Beta_Canum_Venaticorum|Beta Canum Venaticorum]], otherwise known as Chara, about 27.6 light years from Earth in the general direction of the M3 star cluster.
[[File:Mahoukai.jpg|alt=A map of parts of the planet Mahoukai.|thumb|A map of parts of the planet Mahoukai.]]
The name Mahoukai (or Mahōkai) is Japanese for "World of Magic" or "Magic Planet". The kanji are 魔法界.<blockquote>Ariela facepalmed, and sighed. "It's an anime world."

"What?"

"An anime world. The kind of world Japanese authors love to write. Holy crap. I should get Mei out here. She's Chinese, but they like the same kind of stuff." She stared at the holo, which showed the dragon, of course, but also a five-member adventuring party (for lack of a better term) consisting of what appeared to be a mage, a cleric, a paladin, an archer, and a really big guy in armor carrying a gigantic hammer or mace – "Probably their tank," she mused.

"Ah? You recognize the team composition?"

"Hell yes, Beam, it's a party straight out of just about any PnP dungeon game. The hell does this timeline do, roll dice to decide outcomes?"</blockquote>

=== Inhabitants ===

==== Goddess-adjacent ====
The planet is inhabited by humans and elves, at first glance. '''Elves''' are few and far between in the human areas; they tend to keep to themselves in the northern forests, but the four [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]] are all elves, and there are occasional elves in adventuring parties; they tend to be archers. There are also '''dwarves,''' mostly miners, metalworkers, and stoneworkers, who remain in the mountains but do trade with humans and elves. All of these species generally acknowledge the Goddess [[Eireala]] as their divine creator.

==== Demon Lord-adjacent ====
In the [[The Demon Lord|Demon Lord]]'s territories, there are various types of '''demons''' beholden to him. Typically the Demon Lord's minions and the rest of the beings on the planet don't bother each other and don't inhabit the same areas anyway. The Demon Lord is not a devil or god, but simply a very strong person of indeterminate species to whom the demon species swear fealty. The Goddess has little or no recognition among these species.

==== Dragons ====
A third major group of beings are the '''dragons.''' Dragons don't ally with either of the other sides, nor are they particularly fond of them (and the feeling is mutual). There are red dragons (largest and most dangerous), blue and green dragons (somewhat smaller and still dangerous dragons which act as the red dragons' "foot soldiers"), and gold dragons. There are very few gold dragons compared to the rest, but they are the most intelligent, are the only ones that know human language, and are like Mafia bosses or ''yakuza oyabun'' (family bosses). Red dragons are the bosses' lieutenants. The whole dragon ''yakuza'' organization is set up to grow the gold dragon bosses' hoards. Part of the job of human and elven adventurers is to fight back against the depredations of the dragon ''yakuza'', who don't care who you are, they'll fight you, kill you, and take your stuff. The Demon Lord's minions also have this as a task from their side of things. Basically, if you see a dragon, you're going to have a fight on your hands, no matter who you are.

== Geography ==
Most of the various beings are found on the main continent, which is in the Northern Hemisphere, and extends all the way from the ice and tundra at the pole, through the Great Forests where the vast majority of elves live, then through a great Northern Range of mountains that rival the Himalayas.

In the southern piedmont of the Northern Range is the capital city, called Eireala-to (which is Japanese for "Eireala's Capital"). The [[Church of the Blessed Goddess Eireala]] is headquartered here.

Rivers and roads meander south from Eireala-to through more or less flat lands (with mountain ranges on both sides) where there are many productive farms and a number of towns and small cities. About 125 miles south of Eireala-to, a road branches to the west and fetches up at the foot of the Western Range, where the [[The Great Mage of the South|Great Mage of the South]] has a tower.

The roads and rivers continue south to the city of Mahoumachi (or Mahōmachi, "Magic City") where the University of Magic is located. Mahoumachi is on the southern coast and is almost in the tropics, but not quite. (Think Tennessee or Georgia for climate.)

There is a Great Eastern Range of mountains which separates the east coast of the continent from the rest. The east coast is the Demon Lord's territory. It has one port, called Toubukou (imaginatively enough, "Eastern Port"). From Toubukou there is a badly-maintained road going west to the foothills of the Great Eastern Range, where the Demon Lord's castle is located.

== Language ==
The truth is, the language of Mahoukai ''isn't'' Japanese. However, when Ariela goes there to prepare the world to be realized into the True Universe, one minor problem she has to overcome in becoming the Goddess Eireala is the instantaneous two-way language translation the Simulation normally does for her ''defaults'' to Japanese and can't be changed. It's later discovered this is due Ariela's long-time anime fandom. As Beam tells her, ''"It has to do with how your subconscious mind perceived this world originally, and how it continues to perceive it. You believe this world is an anime fantasy, and you spent many years watching anime in Japanese, did you not?"''

Luckily, Ariela is quite proficient in Japanese, and the Simulation only needs step in a few times to manually translate a word or phrase for her. Otherwise, names and places and everything else are translated from the vernacular into Japanese, so for instance, "Akane" (a mage) actually has a human Mahoukaian name that means "deep red" or close to it.

Naturally, there is more than one language on Mahoukai. There is a "standard" language spoken by the humans, and by just about everyone else on the planet who wants to trade or otherwise deal with them. There are regional dialects of that standard language, but in general the dialects are mutually understandable -- much like American English is made up of multiple regional dialects, but that doesn't stop us from understanding each other...unless it does, but that's another story. The elves have a language, the dwarves have a language, the dragons generally don't talk unless they're the minority golds who run the dragon ''yakuzas'' (and while they have a dragon language among themselves, they speak human language very well). The demons have various profane tongues, and the Demon Lord, like the Goddess, speaks and understands all languages.

== Magic ==
I've mostly added this section as a stub, where I can put some things I developed in the course of writing the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness'' and the BBESP light novel.

Magic Stones are primarily sourced from a specific field a few kilometers from Mahoumachi. They can be found in other places, but there is a particularly rich deposit at this location, which is known as Ishihata (surprisingly enough, "the stone field"). The field is mostly a rocky waste, with a few trees and a few areas of sparse grass, nothing a farmer would want to try to till. The person who is seeking a magic stone goes out into the middle of the field and waits for the stone (or stones) with affinity to their particular set of magical talents to come to him or her. Then the stones that drop at the person's feet are collected and taken back to the University to be refined and mated to a mage's staff.

There are a few well-known colors and color combinations.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
| Grey || Dark magic
|-
| Yellow/Orange || Water and Air magic
|-
| Light Blue || Snow and Ice magic
|-
| Greenish Blue || Earth magic
|-
| Red || Fire magic
|-
| Transparent, with multi-color flecks || Aether (Goddess) magic
|}
The Goddess has a white stone, which is simply the Aether magic stone with a permanent mana charge. Alouette has an Aether stone that turns white when she consciously charges it with mana.

Dark magic is defined as offensive/defensive magic, as opposed to "evil" magic.

There are a few well-known "macro" spells that dispense with a long chant in favor of a simple word or two. Mostly these are Goddess-level magic (other than [''Magic Pulse'']).

[''Magic Pulse'']

[''Omnishield'']

[''Blessing of Light'']

[''Plasma Cannon'']

[''Goddess Curse'']

[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Planets]]

Mahoukai

2025-12-11T17:43:12Z

Nathan: /* Magic */

Mahoukai is a planet in the Great Simulation, found in time trunk HNK12785-3. It is featured in the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness.'' It has one moon, about the same size as Luna, though this is not mentioned in ''The Lion and the Darkness.''

Mahoukai is mentioned near the end of the first volume of, and also makes an appearance in the second volume of, the [[I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!|BBESP light novel.]]

After Mahoukai is realized, it becomes the only planet of [[wikipedia:Beta_Canum_Venaticorum|Beta Canum Venaticorum]], otherwise known as Chara, about 27.6 light years from Earth in the general direction of the M3 star cluster.
[[File:Mahoukai.jpg|alt=A map of parts of the planet Mahoukai.|thumb|A map of parts of the planet Mahoukai.]]
The name Mahoukai (or Mahōkai) is Japanese for "World of Magic" or "Magic Planet". The kanji are 魔法界.<blockquote>Ariela facepalmed, and sighed. "It's an anime world."

"What?"

"An anime world. The kind of world Japanese authors love to write. Holy crap. I should get Mei out here. She's Chinese, but they like the same kind of stuff." She stared at the holo, which showed the dragon, of course, but also a five-member adventuring party (for lack of a better term) consisting of what appeared to be a mage, a cleric, a paladin, an archer, and a really big guy in armor carrying a gigantic hammer or mace – "Probably their tank," she mused.

"Ah? You recognize the team composition?"

"Hell yes, Beam, it's a party straight out of just about any PnP dungeon game. The hell does this timeline do, roll dice to decide outcomes?"</blockquote>

=== Inhabitants ===

==== Goddess-adjacent ====
The planet is inhabited by humans and elves, at first glance. '''Elves''' are few and far between in the human areas; they tend to keep to themselves in the northern forests, but the four [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]] are all elves, and there are occasional elves in adventuring parties; they tend to be archers. There are also '''dwarves,''' mostly miners, metalworkers, and stoneworkers, who remain in the mountains but do trade with humans and elves. All of these species generally acknowledge the Goddess [[Eireala]] as their divine creator.

==== Demon Lord-adjacent ====
In the [[The Demon Lord|Demon Lord]]'s territories, there are various types of '''demons''' beholden to him. Typically the Demon Lord's minions and the rest of the beings on the planet don't bother each other and don't inhabit the same areas anyway. The Demon Lord is not a devil or god, but simply a very strong person of indeterminate species to whom the demon species swear fealty. The Goddess has little or no recognition among these species.

==== Dragons ====
A third major group of beings are the '''dragons.''' Dragons don't ally with either of the other sides, nor are they particularly fond of them (and the feeling is mutual). There are red dragons (largest and most dangerous), blue and green dragons (somewhat smaller and still dangerous dragons which act as the red dragons' "foot soldiers"), and gold dragons. There are very few gold dragons compared to the rest, but they are the most intelligent, are the only ones that know human language, and are like Mafia bosses or ''yakuza oyabun'' (family bosses). Red dragons are the bosses' lieutenants. The whole dragon ''yakuza'' organization is set up to grow the gold dragon bosses' hoards. Part of the job of human and elven adventurers is to fight back against the depredations of the dragon ''yakuza'', who don't care who you are, they'll fight you, kill you, and take your stuff. The Demon Lord's minions also have this as a task from their side of things. Basically, if you see a dragon, you're going to have a fight on your hands, no matter who you are.

== Geography ==
Most of the various beings are found on the main continent, which is in the Northern Hemisphere, and extends all the way from the ice and tundra at the pole, through the Great Forests where the vast majority of elves live, then through a great Northern Range of mountains that rival the Himalayas.

In the southern piedmont of the Northern Range is the capital city, called Eireala-to (which is Japanese for "Eireala's Capital"). The [[Church of the Blessed Goddess Eireala]] is headquartered here.

Rivers and roads meander south from Eireala-to through more or less flat lands (with mountain ranges on both sides) where there are many productive farms and a number of towns and small cities. About 125 miles south of Eireala-to, a road branches to the west and fetches up at the foot of the Western Range, where the [[The Great Mage of the South|Great Mage of the South]] has a tower.

The roads and rivers continue south to the city of Mahoumachi (or Mahōmachi, "Magic City") where the University of Magic is located. Mahoumachi is on the southern coast and is almost in the tropics, but not quite. (Think Tennessee or Georgia for climate.)

There is a Great Eastern Range of mountains which separates the east coast of the continent from the rest. The east coast is the Demon Lord's territory. It has one port, called Toubukou (imaginatively enough, "Eastern Port"). From Toubukou there is a badly-maintained road going west to the foothills of the Great Eastern Range, where the Demon Lord's castle is located.

== Language ==
The truth is, the language of Mahoukai ''isn't'' Japanese. However, when Ariela goes there to prepare the world to be realized into the True Universe, one minor problem she has to overcome in becoming the Goddess Eireala is the instantaneous two-way language translation the Simulation normally does for her ''defaults'' to Japanese and can't be changed. It's later discovered this is due Ariela's long-time anime fandom. As Beam tells her, ''"It has to do with how your subconscious mind perceived this world originally, and how it continues to perceive it. You believe this world is an anime fantasy, and you spent many years watching anime in Japanese, did you not?"''

Luckily, Ariela is quite proficient in Japanese, and the Simulation only needs step in a few times to manually translate a word or phrase for her. Otherwise, names and places and everything else are translated from the vernacular into Japanese, so for instance, "Akane" (a mage) actually has a human Mahoukaian name that means "deep red" or close to it.

Naturally, there is more than one language on Mahoukai. There is a "standard" language spoken by the humans, and by just about everyone else on the planet who wants to trade or otherwise deal with them. There are regional dialects of that standard language, but in general the dialects are mutually understandable -- much like American English is made up of multiple regional dialects, but that doesn't stop us from understanding each other...unless it does, but that's another story. The elves have a language, the dwarves have a language, the dragons generally don't talk unless they're the minority golds who run the dragon ''yakuzas'' (and while they have a dragon language among themselves, they speak human language very well). The demons have various profane tongues, and the Demon Lord, like the Goddess, speaks and understands all languages.

== Magic ==
I've mostly added this section as a stub, where I can put some things I developed in the course of writing the BBESP light novel.

Magic Stones are primarily sourced from a specific field a few kilometers from Mahoumachi. They can be found in other places, but there is a particularly rich deposit at this location, which is known as Ishihata (surprisingly enough, "the stone field"). The field is mostly a rocky waste, with a few trees and a few areas of sparse grass, nothing a farmer would want to try to till. The person who is seeking a magic stone goes out into the middle of the field and waits for the stone (or stones) with affinity to their particular set of magical talents to come to him or her. Then the stones that drop at the person's feet are collected and taken back to the University to be refined and mated to a mage's staff.

There are a few well-known colors and color combinations.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
| Grey || Dark magic
|-
| Yellow/Orange || Water and Air magic
|-
| Light Blue || Snow and Ice magic
|-
| Greenish Blue || Earth magic
|-
| Red || Fire magic
|-
| Transparent, with multi-color flecks || Aether (Goddess) magic
|}
The Goddess has a white stone, which is simply the Aether magic stone with a permanent mana charge. Alouette has an Aether stone that turns white when she consciously charges it with mana.

Dark magic is defined as offensive/defensive magic, as opposed to "evil" magic.

There are a few well-known "macro" spells that dispense with a long chant in favor of a simple word or two. Mostly these are Goddess-level magic (other than [''Magic Pulse'']).

[''Magic Pulse'']

[''Omnishield'']

[''Blessing of Light'']

[''Plasma Cannon'']

[''Goddess Curse'']

[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Planets]]

Mahoukai

2025-12-11T17:38:13Z

Nathan: /* Magic */

Mahoukai is a planet in the Great Simulation, found in time trunk HNK12785-3. It is featured in the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness.'' It has one moon, about the same size as Luna, though this is not mentioned in ''The Lion and the Darkness.''

Mahoukai is mentioned near the end of the first volume of, and also makes an appearance in the second volume of, the [[I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!|BBESP light novel.]]

After Mahoukai is realized, it becomes the only planet of [[wikipedia:Beta_Canum_Venaticorum|Beta Canum Venaticorum]], otherwise known as Chara, about 27.6 light years from Earth in the general direction of the M3 star cluster.
[[File:Mahoukai.jpg|alt=A map of parts of the planet Mahoukai.|thumb|A map of parts of the planet Mahoukai.]]
The name Mahoukai (or Mahōkai) is Japanese for "World of Magic" or "Magic Planet". The kanji are 魔法界.<blockquote>Ariela facepalmed, and sighed. "It's an anime world."

"What?"

"An anime world. The kind of world Japanese authors love to write. Holy crap. I should get Mei out here. She's Chinese, but they like the same kind of stuff." She stared at the holo, which showed the dragon, of course, but also a five-member adventuring party (for lack of a better term) consisting of what appeared to be a mage, a cleric, a paladin, an archer, and a really big guy in armor carrying a gigantic hammer or mace – "Probably their tank," she mused.

"Ah? You recognize the team composition?"

"Hell yes, Beam, it's a party straight out of just about any PnP dungeon game. The hell does this timeline do, roll dice to decide outcomes?"</blockquote>

=== Inhabitants ===

==== Goddess-adjacent ====
The planet is inhabited by humans and elves, at first glance. '''Elves''' are few and far between in the human areas; they tend to keep to themselves in the northern forests, but the four [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]] are all elves, and there are occasional elves in adventuring parties; they tend to be archers. There are also '''dwarves,''' mostly miners, metalworkers, and stoneworkers, who remain in the mountains but do trade with humans and elves. All of these species generally acknowledge the Goddess [[Eireala]] as their divine creator.

==== Demon Lord-adjacent ====
In the [[The Demon Lord|Demon Lord]]'s territories, there are various types of '''demons''' beholden to him. Typically the Demon Lord's minions and the rest of the beings on the planet don't bother each other and don't inhabit the same areas anyway. The Demon Lord is not a devil or god, but simply a very strong person of indeterminate species to whom the demon species swear fealty. The Goddess has little or no recognition among these species.

==== Dragons ====
A third major group of beings are the '''dragons.''' Dragons don't ally with either of the other sides, nor are they particularly fond of them (and the feeling is mutual). There are red dragons (largest and most dangerous), blue and green dragons (somewhat smaller and still dangerous dragons which act as the red dragons' "foot soldiers"), and gold dragons. There are very few gold dragons compared to the rest, but they are the most intelligent, are the only ones that know human language, and are like Mafia bosses or ''yakuza oyabun'' (family bosses). Red dragons are the bosses' lieutenants. The whole dragon ''yakuza'' organization is set up to grow the gold dragon bosses' hoards. Part of the job of human and elven adventurers is to fight back against the depredations of the dragon ''yakuza'', who don't care who you are, they'll fight you, kill you, and take your stuff. The Demon Lord's minions also have this as a task from their side of things. Basically, if you see a dragon, you're going to have a fight on your hands, no matter who you are.

== Geography ==
Most of the various beings are found on the main continent, which is in the Northern Hemisphere, and extends all the way from the ice and tundra at the pole, through the Great Forests where the vast majority of elves live, then through a great Northern Range of mountains that rival the Himalayas.

In the southern piedmont of the Northern Range is the capital city, called Eireala-to (which is Japanese for "Eireala's Capital"). The [[Church of the Blessed Goddess Eireala]] is headquartered here.

Rivers and roads meander south from Eireala-to through more or less flat lands (with mountain ranges on both sides) where there are many productive farms and a number of towns and small cities. About 125 miles south of Eireala-to, a road branches to the west and fetches up at the foot of the Western Range, where the [[The Great Mage of the South|Great Mage of the South]] has a tower.

The roads and rivers continue south to the city of Mahoumachi (or Mahōmachi, "Magic City") where the University of Magic is located. Mahoumachi is on the southern coast and is almost in the tropics, but not quite. (Think Tennessee or Georgia for climate.)

There is a Great Eastern Range of mountains which separates the east coast of the continent from the rest. The east coast is the Demon Lord's territory. It has one port, called Toubukou (imaginatively enough, "Eastern Port"). From Toubukou there is a badly-maintained road going west to the foothills of the Great Eastern Range, where the Demon Lord's castle is located.

== Language ==
The truth is, the language of Mahoukai ''isn't'' Japanese. However, when Ariela goes there to prepare the world to be realized into the True Universe, one minor problem she has to overcome in becoming the Goddess Eireala is the instantaneous two-way language translation the Simulation normally does for her ''defaults'' to Japanese and can't be changed. It's later discovered this is due Ariela's long-time anime fandom. As Beam tells her, ''"It has to do with how your subconscious mind perceived this world originally, and how it continues to perceive it. You believe this world is an anime fantasy, and you spent many years watching anime in Japanese, did you not?"''

Luckily, Ariela is quite proficient in Japanese, and the Simulation only needs step in a few times to manually translate a word or phrase for her. Otherwise, names and places and everything else are translated from the vernacular into Japanese, so for instance, "Akane" (a mage) actually has a human Mahoukaian name that means "deep red" or close to it.

Naturally, there is more than one language on Mahoukai. There is a "standard" language spoken by the humans, and by just about everyone else on the planet who wants to trade or otherwise deal with them. There are regional dialects of that standard language, but in general the dialects are mutually understandable -- much like American English is made up of multiple regional dialects, but that doesn't stop us from understanding each other...unless it does, but that's another story. The elves have a language, the dwarves have a language, the dragons generally don't talk unless they're the minority golds who run the dragon ''yakuzas'' (and while they have a dragon language among themselves, they speak human language very well). The demons have various profane tongues, and the Demon Lord, like the Goddess, speaks and understands all languages.

== Magic ==
I've mostly added this section as a stub, where I can put some things I developed in the course of writing the BBESP light novel.

Magic Stones are primarily sourced from a specific field a few kilometers from Mahoumachi. They can be found in other places, but there is a particularly rich deposit at this location, which is known as Ishihata (surprisingly enough, "the stone field"). The field is mostly a rocky waste, with a few trees and a few areas of sparse grass, nothing a farmer would want to try to till. The person who is seeking a magic stone goes out into the middle of the field and waits for the stone (or stones) with affinity to their particular set of magical talents to come to him or her. Then the stones that drop at the person's feet are collected and taken back to the University to be refined and mated to a mage's staff.

There are a few well-known colors and color combinations.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
| Grey || Dark magic
|-
| Yellow/Orange || Water and Air magic
|-
| Light Blue || Snow and Ice magic
|-
| Greenish Blue || Earth magic
|-
| Red || Fire magic
|-
| Transparent, with multi-color flecks || Aether (Goddess) magic
|}
The Goddess has a white stone, which is simply the Aether magic stone with a permanent mana charge. Alouette has an Aether stone that turns white when she consciously charges it with mana.

[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Planets]]

Mahoukai

2025-12-11T17:32:42Z

Nathan:

Mahoukai is a planet in the Great Simulation, found in time trunk HNK12785-3. It is featured in the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness.'' It has one moon, about the same size as Luna, though this is not mentioned in ''The Lion and the Darkness.''

Mahoukai is mentioned near the end of the first volume of, and also makes an appearance in the second volume of, the [[I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!|BBESP light novel.]]

After Mahoukai is realized, it becomes the only planet of [[wikipedia:Beta_Canum_Venaticorum|Beta Canum Venaticorum]], otherwise known as Chara, about 27.6 light years from Earth in the general direction of the M3 star cluster.
[[File:Mahoukai.jpg|alt=A map of parts of the planet Mahoukai.|thumb|A map of parts of the planet Mahoukai.]]
The name Mahoukai (or Mahōkai) is Japanese for "World of Magic" or "Magic Planet". The kanji are 魔法界.<blockquote>Ariela facepalmed, and sighed. "It's an anime world."

"What?"

"An anime world. The kind of world Japanese authors love to write. Holy crap. I should get Mei out here. She's Chinese, but they like the same kind of stuff." She stared at the holo, which showed the dragon, of course, but also a five-member adventuring party (for lack of a better term) consisting of what appeared to be a mage, a cleric, a paladin, an archer, and a really big guy in armor carrying a gigantic hammer or mace – "Probably their tank," she mused.

"Ah? You recognize the team composition?"

"Hell yes, Beam, it's a party straight out of just about any PnP dungeon game. The hell does this timeline do, roll dice to decide outcomes?"</blockquote>

=== Inhabitants ===

==== Goddess-adjacent ====
The planet is inhabited by humans and elves, at first glance. '''Elves''' are few and far between in the human areas; they tend to keep to themselves in the northern forests, but the four [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]] are all elves, and there are occasional elves in adventuring parties; they tend to be archers. There are also '''dwarves,''' mostly miners, metalworkers, and stoneworkers, who remain in the mountains but do trade with humans and elves. All of these species generally acknowledge the Goddess [[Eireala]] as their divine creator.

==== Demon Lord-adjacent ====
In the [[The Demon Lord|Demon Lord]]'s territories, there are various types of '''demons''' beholden to him. Typically the Demon Lord's minions and the rest of the beings on the planet don't bother each other and don't inhabit the same areas anyway. The Demon Lord is not a devil or god, but simply a very strong person of indeterminate species to whom the demon species swear fealty. The Goddess has little or no recognition among these species.

==== Dragons ====
A third major group of beings are the '''dragons.''' Dragons don't ally with either of the other sides, nor are they particularly fond of them (and the feeling is mutual). There are red dragons (largest and most dangerous), blue and green dragons (somewhat smaller and still dangerous dragons which act as the red dragons' "foot soldiers"), and gold dragons. There are very few gold dragons compared to the rest, but they are the most intelligent, are the only ones that know human language, and are like Mafia bosses or ''yakuza oyabun'' (family bosses). Red dragons are the bosses' lieutenants. The whole dragon ''yakuza'' organization is set up to grow the gold dragon bosses' hoards. Part of the job of human and elven adventurers is to fight back against the depredations of the dragon ''yakuza'', who don't care who you are, they'll fight you, kill you, and take your stuff. The Demon Lord's minions also have this as a task from their side of things. Basically, if you see a dragon, you're going to have a fight on your hands, no matter who you are.

== Geography ==
Most of the various beings are found on the main continent, which is in the Northern Hemisphere, and extends all the way from the ice and tundra at the pole, through the Great Forests where the vast majority of elves live, then through a great Northern Range of mountains that rival the Himalayas.

In the southern piedmont of the Northern Range is the capital city, called Eireala-to (which is Japanese for "Eireala's Capital"). The [[Church of the Blessed Goddess Eireala]] is headquartered here.

Rivers and roads meander south from Eireala-to through more or less flat lands (with mountain ranges on both sides) where there are many productive farms and a number of towns and small cities. About 125 miles south of Eireala-to, a road branches to the west and fetches up at the foot of the Western Range, where the [[The Great Mage of the South|Great Mage of the South]] has a tower.

The roads and rivers continue south to the city of Mahoumachi (or Mahōmachi, "Magic City") where the University of Magic is located. Mahoumachi is on the southern coast and is almost in the tropics, but not quite. (Think Tennessee or Georgia for climate.)

There is a Great Eastern Range of mountains which separates the east coast of the continent from the rest. The east coast is the Demon Lord's territory. It has one port, called Toubukou (imaginatively enough, "Eastern Port"). From Toubukou there is a badly-maintained road going west to the foothills of the Great Eastern Range, where the Demon Lord's castle is located.

== Language ==
The truth is, the language of Mahoukai ''isn't'' Japanese. However, when Ariela goes there to prepare the world to be realized into the True Universe, one minor problem she has to overcome in becoming the Goddess Eireala is the instantaneous two-way language translation the Simulation normally does for her ''defaults'' to Japanese and can't be changed. It's later discovered this is due Ariela's long-time anime fandom. As Beam tells her, ''"It has to do with how your subconscious mind perceived this world originally, and how it continues to perceive it. You believe this world is an anime fantasy, and you spent many years watching anime in Japanese, did you not?"''

Luckily, Ariela is quite proficient in Japanese, and the Simulation only needs step in a few times to manually translate a word or phrase for her. Otherwise, names and places and everything else are translated from the vernacular into Japanese, so for instance, "Akane" (a mage) actually has a human Mahoukaian name that means "deep red" or close to it.

Naturally, there is more than one language on Mahoukai. There is a "standard" language spoken by the humans, and by just about everyone else on the planet who wants to trade or otherwise deal with them. There are regional dialects of that standard language, but in general the dialects are mutually understandable -- much like American English is made up of multiple regional dialects, but that doesn't stop us from understanding each other...unless it does, but that's another story. The elves have a language, the dwarves have a language, the dragons generally don't talk unless they're the minority golds who run the dragon ''yakuzas'' (and while they have a dragon language among themselves, they speak human language very well). The demons have various profane tongues, and the Demon Lord, like the Goddess, speaks and understands all languages.

== Magic ==
I've mostly added this section as a stub, where I can put some things I developed in the course of writing the BBESP light novel.

Magic Stones are primarily sourced from a specific field a few kilometers from Mahoumachi. They can be found in other places, but there is a particularly rich deposit at this location, which is known as Ishihata (surprisingly enough, "the stone field"). The field is mostly a rocky waste, with a few trees and a few areas of sparse grass, nothing a farmer would want to try to till. The person who is seeking a magic stone goes out into the middle of the field and waits for the stone (or stones) with affinity to their particular set of magical talents to come to him or her. Then the stones that drop at the person's feet are collected and taken back to the University to be refined and mated to a mage's staff.

There are a few well-known colors and color combinations.

Grey - Dark magic

Yellow/Orange - Water and Air magic

Light Blue - Snow and Ice magic

Greenish Blue - Earth magic

Red - Fire magic

Transparent, with multi-color flecks - Aether (Goddess) magic
{| class="wikitable"
!
!
!
!
|-
|
|
|
|
|-
|
|
|
|
|-
|
|
|
|
|}
The Goddess has a white stone, which is simply the Aether magic stone with a permanent mana charge. Alouette has an Aether stone that turns white when she consciously charges it with mana.

[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Planets]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2025-12-11T17:12:31Z

Nathan:

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！
(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to [[Mahoukai]] -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian [[The Great Mages of Antiquity|Great Mages of Antiquity]], and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of [[Eireala|the Goddess Eireala]] having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

=== Volume 3 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne.

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call USAian tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2025-12-07T01:23:07Z

Nathan: /* Dramatis Personae */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！
(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to Mahoukai -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian Great Mages of Antiquity, and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of the Goddess Eireala having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

=== Volume 3 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
'''''From Volume 1:'''''

Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne.

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Kitchen): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

Alice's maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Kitchen)
Mark's maids, in addition to being Mark's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. There is little or no secondary staff other than a separate kitchen establishment, presided over by a chef named Jacob. These maids were selected by Mark's butler, Simon, with malice aforethought; Simon, being a closet psychopath, deliberately chose the worst students in the Order's school to serve him. At this point, they are mostly layabouts, since the shunned Prince has no public duties and little else to do other than figure out new and more bent ways to make money. They are, in effect, his harem, and all of them have warmed his bed over the years. In other words, they are diametrically-opposed to the kind of maids Mark should have had; but then, Simon should never have been chosen to be his butler, either. This is laid at the feet of Roger's and Mark's father, who had tragically lost his wife just before the time came to choose a staff for Mark, and probably wasn't thinking as straight as he should have.

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call USAian tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]

I'm The Beautiful But Evil Space Princess Who Rules A Galactic Empire, But Really Wants To Leave People Ruthlessly Alone!

2025-12-07T01:12:38Z

Nathan: /* Dramatis Personae */

'''A Light Novel in Three Volumes'''<ref>Well, probably three volumes.</ref>[[File:BBESP kindle cover.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP cover image''''']][[File:BBESP Kindle cover - Volume 2.jpg|thumb|'''''I'm the BBESP Vol. 2 cover image''''']]

== Japanese Title ==
私は、銀河帝国を統治する美しくも邪悪な宇宙の王女。でも本当は、人々を容赦なく放っておきたがる！
(WATASHI WA, GINGA TEIKOKU O TŌCHI SURU UTSUKUSHIKU MO JAAKUNA UCHŪ NO ŌJO. DEMO HONTŌHA, HITOBITO O YŌSHANAKU HANATTE OKITA GARU!)

== Synopsis ==

=== Volume 1 ===
Alice is the Imperial Princess Regnant of the Galactic Empire. At 22, she has been thrust into power after her father (the Emperor) and her two older brothers have all died in various ways. Her Imperial Chancellor, Lord Rupert, does everything he can to support her, but has somewhat different ideas about how the Empire should be run than did his late Emperor.

Alice has one major problem: She cannot be crowned Empress Regnant until she marries and produces an heir. (In fairness, it's the same way for the male heirs who succeed the throne while unmarried; they remain Princes Regnant until they marry and produce heirs.)

But Alice, being kept busy three days a week by interminable audiences with petitioners, and the rest of the week with what she terms "mostly busy work", has no real way to meet boys -- well, reasonably eligible boys, anyway, and of her own age -- with whom she might eventually take up and form a household. And she chafes at the necessity of trying to rule, hands-on, an Empire so huge it cannot be truly ruled by any one person to begin with.

Literally, she just wants to leave people alone, as her father and his predecessors did for centuries.

Then, into her life walks the Crown Prince of a planet many, many parsecs away from the Capital Planet...and her life begins to take on a life of its own...

=== Volume 2 ===
Princess Regnant Alice and her companions, after a trip to Prince Daniel's world Xeros, and a visit to Lost Terra and a meeting with Michael, the mysterious, ancient human, have been directed by Michael to travel to Mahoukai -- a world of magical beings who will be able to properly train and guide Prince Daniel's sister Alouette in the use of her inborn magical powers.

But a nagging question continues to bug both Alice and her father, Roger; what is ''really'' going on, back on Capital? Is a revolution brewing? Is the Lord Chancellor, Rupert, somehow involved, and at what level? Eventually they must bid a reluctant farewell to the Mahoukaian Great Mages of Antiquity, and end Alice's six month absence from her Throne.

And what they find on Capital is far, far beyond anything they might have imagined from 50,000 light years away.

==== Magical Spells ====
I want to make a record of the magical spells used in this book. They're all in Japanese, of course, because of the lingering effects of the Goddess Eireala having understood the language of Mahoukai as Japanese, because the world was, in her own words, "an anime world". If you read the second half of ''The Lion and the Darkness,'' you'll understand this better. Otherwise, it's best just to let it ride.

In Chapter 4:

''"Korera no ishi ga kumiawasa tte, issho ni hatarakimasu yō ni!"'' -- means, roughly, "May these stones come together and work as one!"

In Chapter 5:

''"Korera no ishi o seiren shite imashou. Soshite, korera no ishi ni mana no michi o sazukete imashou."'' -- means, roughly, "Let these stones be refined, and bestow upon them the Path of Mana."

''"Mahō to megami no na ni oite, kono tsue o tsukuru."'' -- means, roughly, "In the name of magic and the Goddess, I create this staff."

=== Volume 3 ===
(In progress)
----

== General Background ==
The Empire is the end result of a war between Earth colonies, approximately 20,000 years before the story's present. There were about a hundred human colonies at that point, many of them barely self-sufficient. During this war, most ships were lost or heavily damaged, and the vast majority of cities were destroyed, meaning a lot of information effectively went up in smoke -- including navigational data that would have included the location of Earth.

By the time of the war, pretty much everyone who had ever had any intent to migrate away from the mother world had done so. Those who were left were effectively sneered at and belittled as cowards and home-bodies clinging to Earth like little babies cling to their mothers. It is perhaps no surprise that Earth was ''not'' caught up in the colonial war, and even less surprise that after it was over, nobody from Earth came around to find out what had happened. Thus, Earth was forgotten and lost, until centuries had passed and the new Empire, with its seat on the planet unimaginatively named Capital, was established to prevent another war between the colonies. It was also intended to promote the expansion of humanity into the rest of the Galaxy, and in furtherance of that mission, began to amass fragments of the lost history of the original loose confederation of colonial worlds.

As Alice explains it to Daniel:<blockquote>"We know so little about what happened on Earth, after the Great Dispersal."

Daniel snorted. "Left all the people behind who had no sense of adventure, and nobody bothered to go back to check up on them," he said, dismissively. "And then eventually, nobody remembered where it was."

"There was a reason for that," she replied. "A major war broke out between colonies, with a lot of destruction on all sides. Space travel and trade stopped for a long time while the colonies rebuilt, and by the time they did, they'd lost a lot of navigational data. Today's galactic map is centered on Capital, not on Terra, for that reason." She sighed, heavily. "And we still have no idea where Terra is, and they probably have no interest in finding us, for the very reason you suggested. They were the stay-at-homes."

"I'm surprised," said Daniel, slowly, "you know so much about them, and about the wars and such. Because, to be honest, we really know very little at all of them, back home."

Alice smiled. "Most of the records that were salvaged were brought here," she explained. "And I got a crash course in what we know about Galactic history when I was put on the throne, six months ago."</blockquote>There are hints, however, that not everything was lost. Alice drinks Azure Mountain coffee from New Jamaica, for instance. In ''Timelines,'' New Jamaica is one of the first ten human colonies. If in fact this novel is set in the ''Timelines'' universe (which I have not decided at this point), that would be a major clue for someone who was aware of how old the colony on New Jamaica is that it must be rather close to the location of Earth. But that still would only get you somewhere inside the 100 light year sphere where most of the oldest colonies were. And a 100 light year sphere is a ''lot'' of volume to search...especially if what you are looking for isn't readily visible. Yes, I have thoughts on that; Earth isn't hiding...it's just...leveled up.

== Dramatis Personae ==
Alice, Imperial Princess Regnant (22). Her full name is Alice Sarah Jane von Kannon. She is a beautiful young woman, of the body style called "petite," with long dark hair and dark eyes.

Rupert, Imperial Lord Chancellor (in his 50's). Formerly Crown Prince Roger's butler, made a life peer and promoted to Lord Chancellor when Roger took the Throne.

Daniel, Crown Prince of Xeros and Ounes (20), whose family name is Broadbent. He is an erect and athletic young man with red hair. Other than Alouette, his immediate family consists of

* Samuel (father, King of Xeros and Ounes)
* Martha (mother, Queen)
* Maxwell (Max), 12 years old
* William (Bill), 8 years old
* Amelia (Amy), 4 years old

Alouette, Princess of Xeros and Ounes (10). Strawberry-blonde. Beautiful and willowy...for 10 years old (NO PEDOS). She has a nickname (Ali) but doesn't like it, so her family mostly don't use it.

Alice's Maids: (all around 27)

* Janelle (Majordomo of the Household and head maid): "She was a petite little thing, with ever-so-slightly slanted eyes, and a skin tone Alice had heard was "peachy". Like a china doll, some people said – whatever a china doll was. Her hair was dark, long, straight, and lustrous; she obviously took good care of both her skin and hair[.]"
* Kaylie (Wardrobe): "slender, tall, dusky-skinned, dark-eyed"
* Giana (Bath): "another dark-eyed beauty with an olive complexion and long black hair"
* Jaslyn (Bedchamber): "another cute blonde, but this one with green eyes"
* Elisabeth (Meals): "blonde, blue-eyed". Soft-spoken.

Elissa, Baroness of an unnamed barony, Empress Dowager of the Milky Way Star Empire, and Alice's mother; formerly Roger's head maid.

Roger, the (retired) Emperor, thought to be dead in a starship drive incident; Alice's father

Michael – an ancient and enigmatic chap who seems to be first among equals on Terra.

The maids, in addition to being Alice's primary caretakers, are also supervisors of the various areas noted. They are backed up by a staff of, eh, probably around 50, who handle things behind the scenes like laundry, the actual cooking of food, cleaning, and so forth. This staff was expanded significantly after Alice became Princess Regnant; previously there were only five or six staff assisting the five maids. A number of the current staff were brought over from her brothers' establishments. Others were seconded to the Empress Dowager's staff.

It should be noted that even the Imperial Chancellor is outranked (unofficially) by Alice's maids. This is something he doesn't realize until it's too late.

'''''In Volume 2,''''' [[the Great Mages of Antiquity]] and the Goddess [[Eireala]] are introduced. Also:

Mark, Imperial Prince, only brother (only sibling) of Emperor Roger. About 55. The "spare." Shunned by the rest of the family because of an "incident" with then-14-year-old Alice.

Simon, Mark's butler. Passed away some years ago. Possibly murdered. Major psychopath, diagnosis missed by the Order.

Mark's Maids: (all around 60 by now)

* Lisa (Majordomo of the Household and head maid)
* Jeri (Wardrobe)
* Jill (Bath)
* Monica (Bedchamber)
* Eva (Meals)

== Maids ==
''This was head-canoned out in a set of Discord posts on a certain server (not mine) on 14 Sep 2025.''

I was thinking about the maids last night. I think what the maids are, is members of a special Order. Not nuns, though they tend not to marry, or at least are celibate until they do. But they are trained to carry forward certain philosophies through the succeeding generations of the Imperial House. They are about five years older than the children they are chosen to serve. So if Alice was provided with maids at about four years of age, her maids were nine-ish, and already had been in training for four or five years by their Order. Of course what the Order cherishes and teaches are what we might call USAian tenets. Competence. Self-sufficiency. Care for others' welfare. Strong belief in Deity. An understanding of history and philosophy that informs how an educated and enlightened ruler should behave toward his or her subjects. So in many ways, Alice (and her brothers, and her father and mother before her, etc.) are programmed to believe in libertarian principles of governance. She already is uncomfortable with the idea that she should lord it over her subjects. And her ultimate attitude of "I just want to leave them alone!" will grow from that. ...I have a feeling that Alice's Empire is the end state of the human government in Timeline Zero, but I'm not saying so specifically. There are hints that it occupies the same universe, though.

And that's why Rupert, who is an old-school monarchist, is not going to succeed in what he's trying to do -- well-intentioned as it may or may not be.

Oh, and the boy children get female maids, as well, but in that case there is a male butler/majordomo over them who has also gone through similar training by the Order. So both of her brothers had maids ''and'' a butler. The butler's job is to train the boys to be men, and in many cases the butler has later gone on to become the Emperor's Chancellor.

The butler's job is ALSO to beat the crap out of the boy if he starts coming on to the maids, though because of the way the maids are trained, that's not a likely scenario (they'd probably beat it out of him first).

Also, to be honest, the maids and the butler stress chivalry and the art of manliness, so it really should never be an issue.

All that being said, it's not impossible that a maid and her prince could fall in love and later marry...and there have been Empresses who started out as maids.

== The Planet Capital ==
The capital of the Milky Way Star Empire is, rather unimaginatively, called "Capital." It is a lovely, Earth-like world, with similar specifications (about 1G, 70% oceans, a decent mixture of different landforms, no large or even middle-sized fauna (the largest mammal is something like a chipmunk and there are a number of species of small bird-like creatures, and there are fish in the seas, but nothing else), and an abundance of flora -- trees, flowers, grasses, you name it, Capital has it. As a replacement for Terra, it's not bad at all.

Capital circles a G3V star out around the M2 globular cluster, so it's about 50,000 light years from Terra in the constellation Aquarius (not that they know this; Terra is lost due to the Wars of the Great Dispersal, and for reasons that will become evident in the story, there's no real way to find it even if you have the coordinates). This places it in the (old, in the galactic map centered on Sol) 1st Galactic Quadrant, and because it's the capital, it's now the center of the new mapping system, which is 90 degrees rotated clockwise from the old system, with the 1st Galactic Quadrant now to its galactic north-east, the 2nd to its galactic north-west, the third to its galactic south-west, and the fourth to its galactic south-east. The cardinal directions did not change, as it was still known that the [[wikipedia:Magellanic_Clouds|Magellanic Clouds]] were in the galactic east, and they also knew the [[wikipedia:Great_Attractor|Great Attractor]] was in the galactic north-east.

The nearest star system to Capital is 15 light years toward galactic center. It is known as Hecate (because it was a "gateway" or "threshold" to Capital in the early days when Capital was considered on the fringes of the Empire). Hecate has three planets, only one of which (the second) is human-habitable. The planets are, from the center outward, Triodia, Enodia, and Apotropaia.

== Xeros and its Colonial Indenture System ==
Xeros (where Daniel and his family are from) is a colony that's about 100 T-years old. It was founded when a rich ship captain (Daniel's great-grandfather) bought its charter in a lottery. Now how to get people to flock there? Sell citizenship shares that guarantee a vote. Initially offer packages of x number of shares to people interested in colonizing with him and becoming the Founding Families or whatever of Xeros, with the understanding that he and his will be the leaders (it's later he decides to crown himself king and create a kingdom). The packaged shares can then be resold at face value.

But shares are something like 50K gold stellars each. An average Joe (or Jill) wage is something like 10K gold stellars -- enough to live on comfortably, particularly out in the sticks of the Galaxy where Xeros is, and even to raise a family if one budgets and spends judiciously. How do we get Average Joe (or Jill) to buy in? Because that's what great-grandpa wants, is citizens, not peasants, but he also wants them to have skin in the game. So in order to sell a 50K gold stellar citizenship to a guy who makes 10K a year, he reinvents indentures. Come to Xeros, work 5 years doing whatever we tell you to do. We'll feed you and house you and even give you some spending cash. And at the end of it, we'll stake you to 40 acres and a mule (or whatever the equivalent is) and you'll be a full-fledged citizen able to run your family farm through what you've learned as a worker for the past five years. (Or you can sell it to someone else and go into whatever business you might have been trained for before you came to Xeros, i.e., you might have been a computer programmer or a financial advisor or whatever.) AND you have the colony leader's personal guarantee you will be well-treated during the indenture; in the Empire, there is no slavery. (In other words, it's a lot like how the early American colonies brought in people to work who could not pay their passage, but with an enforceable guarantee of good treatment.) It's difficult to get people to buy in because of trust issues of course. But as always there are some people desperate enough to give it a shot. And they find it's as advertised, and write home about it. More people decide to give it a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. [insert the old shampoo ad about tell two friends they tell two friends etc.]

Great-grandpa is pretty much an autist who's spent years studying history and, I don't know what to call it, interpersonal dynamics I guess, and understands fully that you have to prove you're not a BSer and you mean what you say in order to get people to accept what smells suspiciously like a bad deal but really isn't, because he's personally guaranteeing what is being sold (even though it's being resold by other people). He's got ironclad contracts with his resellers that force them to enforce the terms, and the penalty for breaching contract is loss of all their shares and transfer of the indentures they've sold to his control. And of course within a few years one of the original group purchasers is pulling shenanigans and gets whacked for it. Which makes big news across that part of the Galaxy (he's not afraid of the publicity and in fact welcomes it) and prods a lot of people to take the chance that he's the real deal. Which is how Xeros is a very successful and bustling colony only a hundred years after it's founded.

The Broadbent family's "retainers" are actually descendants of many of the indents who came to Xeros with the promise of land and a vote in exchange for 5 years of labor. They're free and have property and are voters, of course; but they're proud of their familial association with the colony's founder.

It should be noted that indentures can be "bought back" before they are fulfilled by swearing out a document stating the facts of the withdrawal and agreeing under pain of deportation to never return to Xeros for any reason (not even as a tourist). A wage equivalent to the "used" portion of the indenture is paid out and the withdrawing indent leaves the planet on a free ticket to the nearest world (which is Faraway, 30 light years away). Personally-identifying information has already been placed on file at the time the indenture was initiated (including DNA data), so it is next to impossible to come back under a false identity. The ability to withdraw is part of great-grandpa's system from the start; it recognizes some people simply aren't cut out for frontier life and make a bad decision to chase the money and the vote, and allowing them to withdraw with pro-rata payment for their labor prior to completing the indenture makes the system perfectly (or at least reasonably) fair. Just...don't think you can do that and ever be welcome on Xeros again.

(Alice will purchase Xeros citizenship prior to marrying Daniel, even though as Imperial Princess Regnant she really doesn't have to. It's intended as a wedding gift to the people of Xeros and proof she will really become one of them rather than simply be Daniel's consort with no other "skin" in the game.)

It should be pointed out that children (and their children, etc) of indents who completed their indenture are automatically citizens of Xeros and do not need to pay the 50K gold stellars to get the vote. They don't get another piece of property, though.

And the indenture system is still in place for anyone who wants to immigrate but doesn't have the money to pay for their share. Though it's much smaller now than it was four generations ago.

== Status ==
In progress.

== Notes ==
[[Category:Non-Series Books]]